Window On Smith Street

I lost my charm

2009-09-15T11:33:00.007-04:00

since my son has to quit smoking, I thought I would quit with him. I haven't stopped entirely but I'm cutting way down. That could be a problem. My prescription for Prozac ran out some time back and I really can't pay for the office cal right now to have it renewed. And very few cigarettes. Okey, dokey.

I was driving through town this morning and stopped at a four way stop, let the other person go, then it was my turn. good thing I hesitated because an SUV went right through because the driver was too busy with her phone to pay attention. Then I went to Wal-mart to look for low-sodium peanut butter for my son. This pick-up pulled out from a parking row, right in front of me. The driver never turned her head to see if there was a car in the main drive. That was it. I was damned certain to let the second person to pull in front of me in less than fifteen minutes know what I thought! I started to turn behind the truck when a woman yelled from a car that I was running off people. What the hell is that about and what business is it of yours? I actually followed the woman and was about to get out of my car when I realized that this could turn really ugly. We had attracted other people and I screamed swear words at all of them. I drove between a woman who had joined the fray and her teenage kids and came home. I was so angry I was shaking.

I'm going to smoke now.

And so it goes...

2009-09-14T19:56:00.010-04:00

The salt-free dinner went well last night. I will shamelessly admit that I admire my son's will power... no salt and one or two cigarettes a day. I was sprinkling a few grains of salt on my food last night when he yelled, "What are you doing? You can't have that! I'm joking, Mom." That outburst is the result of Friday's lunch when Mom and I decided what he should eat. I didn't give it much thought but he mentioned it as soon as we left the restaurant. "Lunch was good. Thanks for choosing it for me, you two." He laughed and hugged us. My supervisor was with us at lunch and asked me about it that night at work. "Did Jim enjoy his lunch? You and your mom picked out his meal." Well, yeah, but we thought we were being helpful, not pushy.

I know it's one more thing in a long series of tiresome things that wear a person down, a person like me, but my son is taking it in stride and doing the best he can. He spent the day with me today, mostly because his internet is screwed up and he needed to do some things online. It was a good day. He cut the grass after he took care of what he needed to do and I appreciate that... a lot.

My son and I are very close. (I know I've mentioned that before.) He's going through a rough time right now and I'm glad to know he still depends on me for support. It's what a parent does. I could get all sappy here or I could sit down and cry for the unfairness of some things going on in my son's life, things I don't feel are mine to share. Parents want so much for their children, no matter the age, and our hearts break when we see them struggle. And so it goes.

No artificial additives, no sugar, no salt

2009-09-13T12:40:00.027-04:00

When my son was between four and five his behavior became so unacceptable. Just bratty. I told the doctor that if there was nothing wrong with this child, and that was my hope, then he was in a lot of trouble for behavior issues. The allergist wanted me to change my son's diet to eliminate all artificial additives. It meant very few packaged foods; almost everything was from scratch. Okay, no problem. Soaps, detergents, and toothpaste also had to be additive free. I was doubtful of this whole thing but three weeks later I had my sweet little boy again. Amazing.

About two years later, my son developed diabetes. New doctor, new diet. Try to use artificial sweeteners whenever possible, he said. Um, he's doesn't do well with that. Do it anyway. Learn this exchange diet. The exchange diet is the most commonly used because it's fairly easy to remember: 1/2 English muffin = 2 slices low calorie bread = 1/2 cup grits = 1/3 cup cooked white rice = 1/2 cup cooked wild rice = 8 animal crackers = 6 saltines. After a time the proportions become automatic... this is all I can have of this. Keeping a cheat sheet handy helped for the times we did forget or for foods not eaten often. The best doctor ever moved out of state. New doctor, learn this new diet. It seems to me that we counted grams of carbohydrates, protein, and fat. The new doctor usually treated adults and treating a diabetic child was a new experience for him. I recall him saying, "I don't care what he eats as long as it totals this number of carbs, x number of protein, and whatever amount of fats." We all did the best we could.

Now we are learning a low sodium diet. My son's blood sugars have been way too high and his blood pressure is elevated. His doctor is unhappy and my son isn't thrilled, either. The prognosis is that if he doesn't get these things under control, he stands a good risk of dialysis in a few years. We're working to turn these things around. He's also to quit smoking so I'm trying to do the same.

My son's occupation is not an especially good one for a person who needs to eat at regular times and get plenty of sleep. He's always done bar work and becoming a bar manager only increased the hours and stress. Stress and high blood pressure go together. We're working on that but there have been changes that may have increased his stress level.

Because he lives alone (well, he shares a house with a friend who's never there) he doesn't have the support of a partner. Being the pushy mother that I am, I'm learning about high blood pressure and diet and what changes need to be made. No hot dogs, bacon, chips, packaged foods, and no Cheetos. Just those items made him really unhappy and he got real ugly about the Cheetos. I heard him tell his girlfriend that he was going to have to live on lettuce and water. That's not what I said.

I am amazed at the amount of salt that's in almost everything we eat. Here's a link to check it out, if you're interested. http://www.webmd.com/diet/slideshow-salt-shockers

Needless to say, the not smoking part is the hardest. I phoned my son awhile ago and when he answered it was, "What?" I'm not doing nearly as well as he is but I'm working on it. He went cold turkey (where did that expression come from?) and I know I can't do that. I've tried it and I think it's the best way to fail. Maybe not for everyone but for me. He's doing well. Crabby but not smoking.

Because my son has had health issues all his life, he counts on me to help him when things get out of whack. I'm the one who guided him when he was young and he knows I'll do all I can to help him get his health back on track. He's never had a woman in his life who was willing to learn about diabetes and how to help him care for himself. The woman he's seeing now may be the one who takes the time to learn. She's learned to watch for signs of low blood sugar and knows what to do. She's a good person.

It's about time to pack up dinner and head to my son's. He's watching football and I don't have television so I'll take dinner to him and the kids. This should be interesting... I've salted nothing.

Fresh peach pie and fried chicken

2009-09-07T13:58:00.018-04:00

This is not my pie. This is apple pie and I don't care much for apple pie but I do love fresh peach pie. It would not be my pie even if I loved apple pie. I'm not the world's worst pie maker but I run a close second. If the crust rolls out nicely, it cracks when I put it in the pie pan. I patch a lot. If it all goes together well, the bottom crust will be soggy. It's always something.

I took a peach pie to my son at work last year. The bartender walked around with a fork, calling for my son to cut the pie

. I told my boy that it was not a great pie (I had tasted one at home) and he said that since this group never gets home made anything, they would love it. They did.

On the other hand, my mother. I took a pie of some sort to her last fall and she took it to my sisters at the store. I happened to work that weekend and one of my sisters said, "That pie wasn't as bad as Mom said. She said the crust was awful." There just happened to be a pie sale at the town gazebo, just across from the store. I yelled in to Mom, who was working, "I'm going over to check out the pies that probably have wonderful crusts!" When I got back with several slices of pie, Mom hurried over. "Who told you?"

The last two peach pies were more like cobblers with no bottom crust, so I didn't have to worry about soggy. I really love peach pie.

This is also not my fried chicken. That's another thing I have issues with. I think I used to do good fried chicken but it's not like riding a bike... you do forget. I tend to cook it too fast and have almost burnt spots here and there. Of course, it might help if my stove had one big burner that worked. (That's an excuse.) When my son and I talked about Sunday dinner plans, he asked if I wanted him to cook on the grill. "I thought I'd fry chicken, if that's okay." "I know it's a lot of work but if you want to fry chicken, Mama, I'll be more than glad to eat it." At dinner, I asked him why he thought my chicken was good when it was just okay. "How would I know the difference? I've only had yours and Grandma Betty's. Actually, anyone who fries their own chicken, instead of getting KFC or Kroger chicken, is a hero." How nice.

I wasn't fishing for compliments when I asked my son questions. I just know that he will tell me like it is and if he has suggestions, he will offer them. I cook dinner on Sunday for him and his children and any of his friends that want to eat. Usually it's just us, his two youngest children, his current significant other and her young son. Once in a great while his oldest and her boyfriend will show up but she's 17 and busy. My son's roommate and a co-worker join us once in awhile. Sometimes Mom comes over but she works Sunday morning and if the store has been busy, she's just too tired. She would rather kick back in her recliner with a glass of wine and that's fine. (I made a rhyme.) She'll be 82 next week and can do whatever she wants.

We don't go to Mom's house for family dinners very often because several years ago she informed us that she wasn't doing those big meals anymore. She has three daughters that know how to cook and they can do it. So be it. We get together maybe once or twice a year but it's a sad fact that my two sisters and I are not especially close. They are but the three of us, no. It's okay because things are the way they are.

So, next Sunday will be dinner at my house. If you're in the area, stop by. I fix plenty of food because I don't know how many will show up. You're always welcome here.

People

2009-08-25T19:21:00.013-04:00

I don't watch television because I don't find much there but I do spend hours right where I am now, browsing and reading.I came across the Today Show Ambush make-overs. Wow. Some of the older women look years younger after make-up and a good hair cut and color. Come to my house, Make-over Ambush!

I saw a friend in Nashville today that I hadn't seen in a year, at least. She said that seeing a video of her last class reunion was depressing. I took it that she meant herself. I reminded her that she looked wonderful and suggested that she look at these make-over photos. Not to sound unkind, but some of the "before's" are brutal. They did make me wonder if I should color my hair. I'll ask Mom's hairdresser.

He's a delight. We were talking today about working with the public. What brought it up was the mention of one of my sisters. He asked if she worked in the store and said that she really shouldn't... she has no people skills at all. He then told about a customer of his that just pushed all the wrong buttons. He sent her out of his shop with a towel wrapped around her wet hair. I can see him doing that. He's a kind and generous person but we all have our limits.

I work four days a week and need to work more but four days at the restaurant are just about all I can take. It's been there for over thirty years and most of the customers are regulars that have been going there from the beginning, as adults or with their parents or grandparents. Too many think it of it as the place to get exactly what they want, no matter how they want it, no matter what's on the menu. I sometimes write a full ticket of explanations for the kitchen. (We aren't into computers there. We do our tickets the old fashioned way, which is fine by me.) "I want my eggs DONE but no lace on them. No butter on the toast and I want my bacon extra crisp. I can't eat it if it's not crisp." "I want a salad with extra tomatoes and my dressing on the side. (It always comes on the side. Forever.) No cheese on it, though. I'll have broccoli, put it on a separate plate, with the cheese sauce on the side. Mashed potatoes with the gravy on the side. Extra butter for my roll, too. Thanks." "I'll have the spaghetti but I want meatballs." "We don't have meatballs. It's meat sauce." "I don't care. I want meatballs." "Where do you think I should get those?" "I don't care. Tell that cook back there to make them." Right. I can only do four days.

I sound like I don't like what I do. That's not true. If I didn't, I wouldn't have done it for thirty years. I think that's it, though. Thirty years of waiting tables can wear a person down. Any job with the public for that long will wear a person down. But there is an upside to everything. The couple that's been married for 67 years and tell me I'm their favorite at the restaurant. He's got a stubborn streak and sometimes she'll form a little fist and tell me, "I'm gonna pop him one of these days." I sometimes lean over to hear him better (he's 93) and one day he said, "Get too close and I'll bite your ear." Flirt. She's getting very forgetful and it's sad to watch but it is just the way it is. One of their daughters comes with them several times a month and she told me, "People seem to think I should be doing something for her but what can I do?" I pat her hand or give her a hug and tell her she's doing all she can.

There's the older man who orders the same thing every day and always takes his cornbread home to eat with milk at night. No ice in his water and bring extra napkins. The fiftish couple who never complain about anything. Never, no matter what goes wrong and it sometimes does. And they tip better than average. The mentally challenged man who doesn't speak but makes "Uhh" sounds that we can recognize as pleased or not. When he gets a new caretaker, the supervisor tells her to bring him to the restaurant for meals and the staff will let her know what he likes to eat. He likes to be told to "Eat, eat" and will smile and point to his food. He has a good caretaker now. I believe I got the last one fired. She brought a book with her and read it instead of talking to him, which is what she should have been doing. I mentioned it to a woman who is also a caretaker but has other clients now. She sent the supervisor in to ask me about it and right away there was a new person. Good.

One day I had just hugged one of the older customers and as I was walking to the front of the restaurant I heard, "Are you giving hugs?" It was a small older woman who was with her husband, both delightful people. "I am. Do you need one?" "I do," she said. I leaned down and gave her a hug and told her that when I started working there I was seen hugging my son and was told that wasn't allowed. No hugging customers. I just said that if I couldn't give hugs, I couldn't work there.

There are rewards to the job.

I have new articles at Associated Content and Helium. Links to the right. Thanks for reading.

Hippies and such

2009-07-01T12:31:00.006-04:00

I made this cake for my son for Father's Day and he loved it. He's now in New Mexico for the Rainbow Gathering, an annual event that always causes a stir among the locals, forest rangers, and this time Federal Marshalls got invollved. Their hippies, for God's sake. Leave them alone to do whatever it is they do. My son looks forward to being away from structured society, enjoying the outdoors, seeing friends, and playing drums.

To see what it's about, search youtube for videos on Rainbow Gathering 2009 and check out the

Rainbow Gathering home page: http://www.welcomehome.org/

Off to work.

I think it was a compliment

2009-06-11T11:08:00.004-04:00

I'm often asked who does my hair or where I get it done. Askers are usually dimayed by my answer... I get it done in my bathroom by me. My hair is very short and mostly gray. I use Got To Be Glued spiking cream to push it back and up. My sister calls it messy but she must be the only one who thinks so. It's a rare day that I don't get a comment from a woman of my age. I love your hair, who does your hair, I wish I could wear my hair that way. The other day a woman said, "I just love your hair. I wish I could chop your head off and take it to my hairdresser."

That was a compliment, right?

April 14th ? How can that be?

2009-06-08T17:39:00.017-04:00

I haven't been sick or disabled. I have been busy but not that busy. Inertia sets in. Books need to be read. Neighbors need visits. But there has been real work to be done, too. Grass to be mowed. Flowers beds that a certain person was too lazy to clean in the fall and were a hellish mess had to be attended to. Seeds to plant and annuals to set out.

I have no idea what I've been doing for the past 7 weeks. I have no one here to take care of except myself and 2 cats. I do have one neighbor who needs a lot of attention. The psychic one. Sometimes I get so caught up in her world that everything else has to wait. I understand that not everyone believes in psychics or in seeing into the past or talking to dead people. I've always had a curiosity about such things and Joy has reinforced that interest. It's never dull around here. Spirits come and go like this was a bus station. Some have been here for a very long time, while others just pop in to speak with Joy. More than one has followed her home, probably because she can communicate with them. Her 2 children can often sense when a spirit is around. I rarely do. I can sometimes sense the spirit who refuses to leave here because he thinks he needs to protect his home. Part of my house overlaps where his house used to be so when I'm in that part of the house I sometimes know he's there. This spirit didn't know he was dead, either, until Joy told him. "How can that be? I'm here, I'm talking to you." He was really upset. She told him he could move on to the light or stay, it was his choice. He said he would stay awhile longer.

My son has also needed a bit of extra attention. We see each other several times a week and he phones, sometimes from work late at night when he needs to talk to someone with common sense. Those are his words, not mine. He's had some problems with his blood sugars bouncing up and down and that takes a toll on him. One of the few Saturday mornings I wasn't scheduled to work was my youngest grandson's first baseball game... at 8am. My son had to have Cheyton there at 7:15 for photos and I had my clock set for about that time so I could get there to see at least part of the game. When the phone rang before my alarm went off, I thought Mom was phoning to get me up. Wrong. "Mom, I'm over in front of East High School with the little ones and my sugar is dropping fast. Can you help me?" I said I was on my way and dropped the phone, grabbed two regular soft drinks from the fridge, one a half full liter, a tin of cookies, and my keys. It took less than 5 minutes to get to East and Jim and the kids walked over to meet my car. Jim took all of the stuff and I asked him if he needed me to stay. No. Yes. I said I would park and be right with him. I had to drive a ways down the lot to find a spot and in his disorientation, Jim walked away, holding each of the little one's hands with his supplies tucked under his arms. I ran down the sidewalk to catch up with him, calling his name but he wasn't hearing me. He was moving slowly to the line of kids and coaches. Just as I got to him, Cheyton's team was called. Kids were to go in one door and parents were to wait where the kids would exit. We didn't do that. As we followed the kids up the stairs into the building, a woman who apparently had some official function told us that parents were to wait over there. I told her, "This man is about to have a seizure and we're going inside." Sorry, she said. We sat on a bench and Jim finished the orange soda and asked me 3 times if Cheyton was with his coach. Yes, now drink. Have a cookie. Jaida sat watching her dad. She asked if he was sick and would he be okay and where was Cheyton. It took a lot to bring Jim around but once he starts getting enough sugar in his system, he comes back quickly. As we waited outside for Cheyton, Jim said the other parents probably thought he was a weirdo. "Come on, Son. If they think anyone is weird it has to be the woman in the shiny pink pajamas pants, white t-shirt, and Spiderman sandals with bedhead and no lower teeth who was running down the sidewalk, shouting." There just wasn't time. And the game was cancelled because the field was too wet so we came back here to get some real food in Jim.

As I said, it's never dull around here.

Another birthday bites the dust.

2009-04-14T12:24:00.014-04:00

Friday was my 61st birthday. I'm not much on birthdays, mine anyway. I don't like the fuss and I've never been good at receiving gifts. I try to keep it low key but Mom can't leave it alone. She came over in the morning to bring a homemade angel food cake and a huge bunch of jonquils. We decided to run into town to see my son, who was working. We went early enough to miss the lunch rush and because I had to work at 1pm. We took cookies because the staff at Columbus Bar/ Powerhouse Brewery loves cookies.

Two of my co-workers found out it was my birthday... because Mom mentioned it when she stopped to see a friend where I work... and I had told them that I had mentioned to my son a flower pot I wanted and was too cheap to buy for myself. They ran right out and got one, yellow accents with tulips. I love it. Later that evening my son and his SO came in, each carrying the flower pots in different designs, one with a pot of pink tulips and another with an Easter lily. My son also carried a cake baked by my second granddaughter. He was singing happy birthday and dancing as he came in the door. He's not a bit shy.

It was a good day and my co-workers told everyone that it was my birthday. We ate cake while we worked and I sent two pieces home with a wonderful older couple that I've become very fond of. He's 93 and she's 87, I think. Love them.

I don't want to steal photos from another site so I'm including links to photos of my flower pots. Mine has some white stripes. http://litwc.com/2007/01/31/this-is-one-large-coffee-cup

Look at the first, second, and last photos.

http://www.takeouttreasures.com/photo-gallery/

I was watching a movie the other night, Defending Your Life, about the life review we each will face when we die. In one scene, the main character was told that he could have been much nicer to one person while he was on earth. Who? Yourself, was the answer. That made me think about how we sometimes think we don't deserve one thing or another. I think that's how I am about gifts, thinking I'm undeserving. I'm not. I should have bought the flower pots for myself when I first saw them.

Every time I include links I have trouble with the font. Hope it doesn't bother you. I try to fix it then I just live with it.

Inertia

2009-03-31T17:29:00.015-04:00

I've had far too many days of little energy. I can't seem to make myself do anything. I drag around, doing household chores that can't be put off any longer. I rid the house of the rolls of cat hair that lurk in corners. No, they don't lurk. By the time I get to them they're quite visible. I think I'm low on Prozac. I do well for a time, then I just forget to take it. My son, over there on the left, told me he wouldn't come over if I didn't start taking Prozac as I should. I'd forgotten that but it's certainly an incentive to get with the program.

My neighbor is still talking to the spirits that hang around this property. The spirit who owned this land over a hundred years ago doesn't want to leave. He stays to be certain that his land is being cared for the way he would have done. He's a real character and a charmer. He tells us that he's not the only one here and I believe that. In his book, Ghosts Among Us, James Van Praagh tells us that ghosts are everywhere and there is always one looking for us. The idea of ghosts shouldn't be scary but the fear caused by childhood stories lingers. When I first learned about the spirits that inhabit this house, I was terrified. (I don't have ghosts that appear as apparitions; I have spirits that just hang around and talk to my neighbor.)My son spent the night here because I didn't want to be in this house alone. Well, I wasn't really alone; the spirits were here. I no longer have that fear because I know the spirits that remain are kind and watchful. There were unpleasant spirits that made themselves known by a rotten smell, mainly in my bedroom. That was creepy. It took some time but they're gone now.

I've said before that my neighbor is not crazy. She sees and hears things from the past. She and her husband have done some research on our adjoining properties to verify what she has been told by the spirits. I'm a believer.

Paranormal happens

2009-02-02T13:10:00.013-05:00

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow so we can expect six more weeks of winter weather. No surprise there. When I hear grumbling about the cold and snow, I remind the complainer that it's that time of year. I don't mind winter nearly as much as hot weather. That's when my complaining starts. Heat and humidity, ugh.

I've come to realize that there is a lot more paranormal activity out there than I would have thought. My neighbor was visiting a friend yesterday and the friend's three year old granddaughter walked into the kitchen and took my neighbor's hand. "You can see my friend, can't you? He says you can talk to him. Nana can't, but you can." Children are more open to seeing spirits than adults because they haven't had the ability programmed out of them. Often they're told that their friend is imaginary, someone they've made up. Maybe, maybe not. I'm more inclined to go with the not. I'll be going with my neighbor to this same friend's house tonight and see for myself.

It's been suggested that my neighbor makes this stuff up but I don't believe that. When she was a child she was told not to talk about what she saw or heard because people would think she was crazy. She's kept it to herself for years but has opened up to me because I don't think she's nuts; I think she has an amazing gift.

Be thankful

2009-01-18T12:25:00.012-05:00

It's not a coincidence that I was talking to Mom last night about a certain person being thankful for his blessing and Celticbuffy's post about finding grace in small things.

The ex-BF phoned me three times in three and a half hours yesterday. He finds nothing good in his life. That's his fault. Being the less than congenial person he's become, even his kids find him exhausting to be around. He's laid off from work but so are many others. He's collecting unemployment; many don't have that. He's sick, probably at death's door. I remind him that he's been dying for as long as I've known him. Now he wants me to help with his taxes because he just can't do it. Fine, I'll help. But stop whining.

I visited a friend yesterday who's in the hospital. Walter is a customer at the restaurant, one of those guys who sit at the counter for hours drinking coffee and discussing the future of the world. He's 82, I think. No family except a sister who doesn't speak to him and her husband who's a great friend to Walter. Walter was limping two weeks ago and had lost a lot of weight. He wasn't in much and I told his brother-in-law that a gimpy hip doesn't cause weight loss. A few days ago Walter phoned his brother-in-law in the middle of the night to take him to the hospital. He's still there. He has bone cancer and about six months to live. Treatment options don't offer much hope. Apparently it's a fast progressing cancer. Walter said he just didn't know if he would take radiation and chemo; the doctors told him his chances of improvement with treatment were 1 in 20 and he doesn't think the odds are worth it. I told him it's better than 1 in 100. He thinks he'll contact hospice and get things set up because he has no one to take care of him. Is this not the saddest thing?

Before the holidays I had asked Walter what he was doing for Christmas. He said that he hasn't celebrated holidays since he lost his family in 1962. It's not something to ask about so I didn't. Yesterday the guys at the counter were talking and told me that Walter had lost his entire family, wife and children, in a house fire. He would have been 35 in 1962. He remarried when he was 75 to a woman of 55, hoping for a few good years of companionship. Within two years she had died of cancer and Walter is still alone. Yesterday I asked him if his sister would come to see him. "I doubt it." What do I say to a person who has no one?

This is what angers me about the ex. His problems are all of his making and he can't stop complaining about how miserable his life is. Take a look at Walter's life and shut up.

I'm not crazy

2009-01-06T14:01:00.022-05:00

I've been preoccupied these past months. The holidays are busy for everyone, including a Scrooge like myself. But that's not what's been keeping me from posting. I've been reading and trying to learn more about earth bound spirits. Yes, what many call ghosts. My house has spirits. My neighbor's house has spirits. One of them flits back and forth between our houses. He gets her attention by creating noises. I hear nothing. My neighbor rarely comes to my house because she is so receptive to spirits that she is constantly distracted by them. Her house has basically one spirit; mine has many. She has done two clearings and my son has done one but somehow they keep getting back in. I've thought that I may need to stock white sage and salt the way others stock eggs and milk.

I have not seen anything. My neighbor has and my son has. I hear nothing. My neighbor and her two children do. I guess I'm not receptive to spirits. My neighbor is like an open vessel; whatever is out there swarms in until she forcefully tunes them out.

I've been trying to get everything written down so I won't lose it. It's too bizarre to forget. It's gone on for two months now and I don't see it going away. Because: I've told the one persistent spirit that while I think that he should go to the light, he can stay if he stops terrorizing the girl next door and stops creating bad smells in my house. He agreed, saying that he will stay in his space and stay out of mine and that he's not the one causing the bad smells.

This seems to ramble but that's the way it goes in my head. No, I do not hear voices in my head. My neighbor does that. A little background. Several years ago I was digging in the dirt around the side of the house to plant flowers. One spot had just a surface layer of dirt, then something solid, like blocks. Strange, I thought. Last year, my neighbor was digging in front of her house and found the same thing. This year, when the persistent spirit made himself known, he said "Get out of my house!" With some research and my neighbor's look into the past, we've found that there was once a house between the two current structures, beginning and ending where we each found blocks in our flower beds. That puts it about halfway into my neighbor's house and just a few feet into mine. It was log, with two rooms downstairs an a small loft. The spirit doesn't want to leave his home and that's fine. Stay but don't terrorize the living.

More later.

2008-12-11T10:31:00.007-05:00

The Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, has certainly created a stir. The Attorney General of that state wants him to resign and she is not alone in that. But he won't. He's too sure of himself. I understand that he's innocent until proven guilty but the evidence seems strong. Of course, only a very few minutes of the hours of tapes were released so the remaining recordings may be totally innocent. Or not.

My thinking is that since he opened the door to the Feds when they told him they were there to arrest him, he knew it was coming. If I knew I was being watched and possibly taped, I'd be more cautious in what I said and did. I think this man is so bold and sure of himself that he thinks he's invincible.

I'm not much into politics but I find this situation extremely interesting because of the audacity of the man. I'll be following this.

New toys

2008-11-12T11:34:00.002-05:00

My son went for his appointment at Volunteers in Medicine and came away with lots of what he called "new toys"... anew blood machine, two types of insulin in pen type things that he's never used before, all the meds that he should have been taking but couldn't afford, and antibiotics for the bug that's got him. He stopped here last night to show off his toys and I was so pleased to see how much better he looks. He's never seriously worried about his health until now. He's been concerned about things over the years but real worry, no. Thirty years of diabetes hasn't been easy but he's always popped right back after any problems. Not so now. I'm certain, however, that he's going to be looking and feeling much better because he knows he'll be getting the care he needs. And he loves his diabetes specialist. He hadn't seen her in several years and they hugged and shed a few tears and agreed to get his diabetes under better control. Thanks be to God and people with big hearts.

I am thoroughly disgusted with the health care system in the United States. Actually, it sucks.

Digging the grave

2008-11-11T10:05:00.003-05:00

Mom didn't sleep well last night, in spite of the several glasses of wine she had. One for herself, one for Jasmine, and one just because. I expected her to sleep in this morning after a night of grieving but she was up half the night and early this morning. My sister's friend was to dig a small cat grave this morning but Mom decided she wanted to do it herself. In the cold drizzle, this 81 year old woman grabbed a shovel and in the early morning hours she buried her beloved cat.

Will I ever have that inner strength, that toughness to just do whatever has to be done?

Jasmine

2008-11-10T20:20:00.004-05:00

Mom's special cat died today. I'm so sad for her. Jasmine hadn't been sick and the vet didn't find anything wrong with her except dehydration. He gave her a shot for that and Mom took her home. Within an hour Jas had died. I was at work when Mom called and I feel bad about that. She said she had told the vet that if Jasmine was too sick to live, she didn't want her to suffer. He gave her a second shot and that may have been something that let her just go to sleep.

Mom has a second cat but Jasmine has been with her for awhile and was her special favorite. She'll be missed. I offered to go to Mom's but she said she was okay and would see me tomorrow. My youngest sister and her friend will go to Mom's in the morning to bury Jasmine. So sad for Mom.

Jasmine is on the left and Dusty is on the right. Mom, in the middle, is not at her best in this photo.

Strange happenings

2008-11-10T12:35:00.010-05:00

I've not been away, I've just been preoccupied and I've not enjoyed it. Some of you may remember reading here that there are spirits in my house. I've heard them only a time or two and told them to go to the light and haven't heard them since. Not so at the house next door. We were trying to find out more about the property and it's history. Research has indicated that there was a farm here years ago. My neighbor has paced off buildings. She sees things. It's been frightening, to say the least.

I'm not going to go into more detail now. We're looking for help with something that is way out of our realm of experience. I'll let you know.

I'm not done

2008-10-27T12:34:00.003-04:00

It may just be me but sometimes when I edit html in Blogger, things go wonky. I wasn't really finished with the last post but it was easier to hit publish than to mess with it.

While he was here, my son informed me that he needs brown pants with a yellow stripe down the outside of the legs for his Han Solo costume. He needs this by Saturday. I thought I was over the Halloween stuff with him but I guess not. He has always enjoyed this holiday and I wouldn't rain on his parade. I'll find his stuff.

My son is adopted, the greatest joy of my life. He came to us around Mother's Day, a day of celebration with cakes and flowers and gifts. We recognized his day with cakes and celebration every year. His birthday is St. Patrick's Day, another day of festivities. His adoption was final on Halloween, more festivities. Until he started school, he thought that all these celebrations were just for him. I'm sure that finding out that other people shared these holidays was a real blow to him. I always get him a small gift on Halloween, the day he legally became my child. This year I'll get him a light saber. I've given several to his oldest son and one to a friend of my son's but I can't remember when he last had a light saber. He needs one. The Force is strong in this one.

I enjoy having my family here for meals. It's work but a labor of love. The little ones play in the yard and wear themselves out and it's a time for the grown ups to have coffee and conversation. When I was a child we went to my grandparent's every Sunday, no options. My aunts and uncles and cousins were always there and it was good family time. Do families still do that or do they just go to the mall then out to a restaurant for dinner? That's not my idea of a good time.

Family Sunday

2008-10-27T11:58:00.012-04:00

My granddaughter, the oldest, wants money, as all teenagers do. We agreed that I would pay her to sweep , mop, and do some dusting. She decided to do this yesterday and brought her boyfriend to do the worst of the tasks, vacuuming up the cat hair from the upstairs carpet and the stairway. They did a commendable job.

Before starting the chores, she fixed french toast for herself and friend and got out a brownie mix because brownies are an essential food in this family. I cleaned up the dishes while they started cleaning. Then she called her dad, He would be stopping by so wouldn't it be great if I fixed beef and noodles? Did I have potatoes? Fine.

I ran to the store and got beef, popped that in the oven and started mixing the noodles. No, we don't do packaged noodles, we make them. Started water to boil, rolled out the noodles, got them in the pot and started peeling potatoes. Had fresh carrots, opened cans of corn and spinach, used a Jiffy mix for cornbread and that was dinner.

My son had his two youngest, 3 and 4 years old, and his lady friend had her 8 year old boy. That made eight. I need a bigger table. The oldest granddaughter thinks I should turn one of the downstairs bedrooms into a dining room and she may be right. That would mean having my bedroom upstairs and the problem there is that there is only one outlet, no heat in winter and hauling the air conditioner up in summer. And there are spirits up there that aren't always happy. It's crossed my mind to have an exorcist come in. Do they do that for just anyone? How does one find and exorcist? Actually, I've told the spirits to go to the light and they may be gone. I don't spend much time up there.

I've gotten off track here. My son and his lady raked leaves in the front. My neighbors are probably pleased with that because I leave them where they are. I don't rake leaves. I found the following on Old Horsetail Snake.

Yard Work, as Viewed from Heaven

(Overheard in a conversation between God and St. Francis

God (also known as Big Ernie): Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the U.S.? What happened to the dandelions and thistles I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. I expected to see a vast garden of color by now. All I see are patches of green.

St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. They are called the Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

God: Grass? But grass is so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, bees or birds, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want grass growing there?

St. Francis: Well, apparently not. As soon as it has grown a little, they cut it...sometimes two times a week.

God: They cut it? Do they bale it like hay?

St. Francis: Not exactly, Ernie. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

St. Francis: No, sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

God: Now let me get this straight: they fertilize it to make it grow and when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, sir.

God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

St. Francis: You may not believe this, but when the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty, and shade in the summer. In the autumn the leaves fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep the moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves become compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

St. Francis: You'd better sit down, Lord....... As soon as the leaves fall, the Suburbanites rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

Big Ern: No way! What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

St. Frannie: After throwing the leaves away, they go out and buy something called mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch?

St. Francis: They cut down the trees and grind them up to make mulch.

God: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

St. Catherine: 'Dumb and Dumber,' Lord. It's a really stupid movie about....

God: Never mind. I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Change in plans

2008-10-21T22:50:00.012-04:00

I have three days in a row off work and usually go to Mom's on one of those days. I talk to her twice a day but I like to see her face, to. Mom hugs are as good as kid hugs. She worked several days and the store was so very busy, as it always is this time of year but she tells me that they have been exceptionally busy. So much for the no one has money theory. She's 81 and three or four busy hours takes a toll. She also has company yet, if a sister is considered company. Aunt J has been here for a month and, while Mom is enjoying the visit, she's not used to having another person around all day and night. In any case, she's tired. I didn't go over on Sunday because they were both resting and I don't want to run into the ex-boyfriend. Monday I painted the garage doors and sort of planned on going over today.

Do you know what happens when I start browsing blogs at night? It can go on until the wee hours, like 2 am. That's what time I said enough and turned this machine off. Needless to say, when Mom gave me my wake up call at 8:30 am, I begged for another hour and flopped back on the bed. I think I stayed up when she phoned the second time but I may have gone back to bed. Anyway, I didn't get there. I did call to see what the plans were for the day and found that Mom had gone to town to run errands while Aunt J stayed home. I gathered up the bird houses and got them put up on the back of the garage and came in to get the paint to finish the garage doors. The phone was ringing.

My son mumbled something and I asked him if he could tell me that again.

"Do I have to?"

"If you want me to know what you said, yes."

A bit more clearly. "Okay. I had a seizure early this morning. L's here and I'm being a dick and she doesn't know what to do. Will you talk to her?"

"Sure." He gets really nasty when his sugar drops.

His young lady takes the phone and says hi.

"Hi, sweetie. Do you have something sweet to give him?"

"I fixed a peanut butter and blackberry jam sandwich and he's eaten a little."

"What about a regular Pepsi?"

"I have a Mt. Dew."

"Perfect. Get him to drink that. It may take the whole thing but he'll know when he's had enough. Then get him to eat something. Call me if you need me."

She thanked me and hung up. The phone rang again. "He wants to know if you know where his blood machine is."

"He should have it. Look around and if you don't find it, call me and I'll go get a new one."

We hung up and I looked around for something to keep busy while I waited for another call. The big bowl on top of the fridge caught my eye and I just knew the blood machine was in it. It was. I phoned and told them I had it and would bring it right out. He said he didn't have test strips. Got them. See you right away. I gathered up a few things for sandwiches and headed for the car.

It's a good 15 minute drive on windy roads but I didn't get lost this time. He was doing okay and was considerably more pleasant. I stayed for a little more than an hour, satisfied that he was doing okay. He may be 36 but he still likes his mom to be around when things get wonky. He was tired, like he always is after a seizure and was going to get a shower and take a nap. He called work and traded shifts... he was to bartend and manage tonight but will do that tomorrow night. His work understands that some things are out of his control. That consideration is one good reason not to take a corporate job.

While I was at my son's we watched food tv and I had to bake something when I got home. With a the dire warning about recession/depression, I decided it was a god time to practice baking bread so I wouldn't have to stand in bread lines. I made two loaves and I need more practice. They're edible, if nothing else was around. Not quite doorstops but they could be lighter. I'll work on it. I think I'll buy yeast in bulk; it may take some time to perfect this.

Updates

2008-10-20T12:04:00.009-04:00

I can't believe that it's been so long since my last post. The month, just like the year, is slipping by too quickly. Last week my son got two phone calls in response to my call to the governor's office. One was from the HIP program telling him that he had neglected to sign one of the forms and it has been on someone's desk but they are sending it back for him to sign. The other was from Volunteers in Medicine letting him know that they are still reviewing his case, it looks good for him, and they will let him know something early this week. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

I have applied to several ads for freelance writers but haven't heard anything. Each ad probably gets a gazillion replies. I need to get busy on a site that displays my writing. I think I'll just use links to each article and I'll probably use Blogger. It's free, easy, and will do what I need it to do. I also need to order an AP Style Guide. Helium has a list of wanted articles by a publisher that insists on AP style. I have an online edition but I would like to have one on my desk. I may check a second hand book store.

I need to get outside today when it warms up a bit and paint the garage doors. The neighbor built them a few weeks ago, replacing the one that the other neighbor broke. The new are barn door style that swing open instead of up. The neighbors also need to get their junk out so my car can go in.

I've had one of those sinus things going on and it always saps my energy. It's getting better; Benadryl helps immensely but makes me sleepy. Whining is so unattractive.

Where is the help?

2008-10-10T12:32:00.003-04:00

My son has no doctor. He has no insurance. He applied to Indiana's health program twice and has still not heard from them. He was told by Volunteers in Medicine that he makes too much money. They don't count child support as an expense. Child support for four children comes out of my son's check, plus taxes, leaving with with less than some people spend for a night on the town.

I phoned Governor Mitch Daniels office today and spoke with a representative. After giving him all the information, he's looking into why we haven't heard from the health program and will look into any other options.

Insulin requires a prescription and with no doctor there is no prescription. There is insulin for the rest of this month. I will not let my son die because of the health system in this country. I will have him go to a doctor in Nashville who has no use for insurance companies and Tim will give him the prescription he needs. I just want to get him some help to pay for his medical care. Thirty years with diabetes and still no proper care. That sucks.

Writing

2008-10-08T10:17:00.007-04:00

Writing doesn't always come easy for me. I don't have that born-in talent to snatch the right words out of thin air. For me, it's a craft, something I have to practice in order to improve. My ideal is to write like I talk, without the swear words. I think I accomplish that here but with other writing it's a challenge. My greatest fan is my mother, but then, isn't that her job? We cheer on our children to whatever it is they want to do but I would like Mom to be a bit more critical. I guess if she read everything I wrote, she would be. When I tell her I'm struggling with this or that article, she just tells me it will be fine. Encouragement in any form is beneficial.

Why would you eat that?

2008-10-06T10:24:00.013-04:00

There are some things that I would never put in my mouth. I can't imagine what the first person to eat snails was thinking! Was it simply that they were hungry and couldn't find anything else to eat? My son actually like escargot, the French word for snails. As in slugs with a shell. I know that there is a process to rid the things of toxins but why bother? They are ugly to look at and just the thought of putting one in my mouth gags me.

This came up yesterday when my son and his new friend were here. He will try just about anything, which surprises me because he had definite likes and dislikes as a child. His friend has more sense than to ingest things that crawl.

My second ex-husband told me once that I put things in my mouth that he wouldn't put in his hand. He was referring to chicken livers. I eat them once in awhile, if I don't think about what they are. I used to eat frog legs, which do taste like chicken, until I realized they were FROG LEGS!

I also won't eat beets. They taste like dirt. Or testicles. Calling them Rocky Mountain Oysters doesn't change what they are. Why would a person eat bull balls? Yuk!

I can almost live on chocolate and coffee.

Ethnic Expo

2008-10-06T09:50:00.006-04:00

This upcoming weekend is Ethnic Expo in downtown Columbus. It's a fun weekend of trying new foods and watching free performances. Take advantage of the free part. China is the host country this year and I expect the food vendors will be busy. Food is big part of this festival and and Chinese is always a favorite. Check out the Ethnic Expo site, which I think is not very good nor very informative but it is what it is.

Columbus prides itself on it's diversity and the Expo is a way to promote that and make people of different cultures feel welcome. On a pleasant fall day it's a bonus to enjoy free entertainment while being outside. If a person limits what they spend on food, it can be a cheap day, and cheap is what were going to have to look for in the coming months.

If you're close to Columbus, enjoy the Expo.

Recent reads

2008-09-30T16:50:00.024-04:00

Today I finished rereading Wisdom Hunter by Randall Arthur. It was published by Multnomah in 1991 but it's still a good read. A minister loses his only child who had run away from home the year before. Shortly after their child's death, his wife also dies. The preacher has to examine his beliefs and soon realizes that he doesn't know the inner workings of God's mind, as he had believed. He has to back up and reexamine what he has preached for years and ask if it's God's word or man's. A good story about a man who has to sort through his values to find what's real and come through the experience a better person.

Free Lunch by David Cay Johnston has a tag line that reads How the wealthiest Americans enrich themselves at government expense and stick you with the bill. That pretty much explains what this book is about but to read it is to be shocked at the subsidies given to the rich, the tax incentives and more that are offered to companies in the hope that they will move into a town or city. I listened to this first on audio but now I'm taking the time to go through the book. I know I'm naive about many things of the world but this is outrageous. What I didn't find as I browsed the chapter titled What To Do? was any thing resembling an real answer to this very real problem. If you read it, let me know your thoughts.

New browser

2008-09-30T16:31:00.007-04:00

Some time ago I downloaded Google's new browser, Chrome. I liked seeing the past few pages I'd been to and having my browsing history so handy but the thing keeps crashing. I'm trying to get away from IE because of the security issues we hear so much about but I feel that it's still a good browser. I've tried Firefox and really, really don't like it. Not certain why but I don't. It, too, has a tendency to crash. No, I don't have bugs or viruses; I scan this computer at least once daily, sometimes more. Now I'm using Safari. So far, so good. It's another case of not liking change but I'm looking for something better than IE. I'll give this a few days and hope it doesn't crash. Chrome has this little screwed up face and words that are something like, "Snap! Google Chrome has crashed. Do you want to restart Chrome?" Cute. It doesn't help the issue but it gets a smile.

Job hunting

2008-09-25T09:59:00.007-04:00

No one has found a job for me that will allow me to stay at home and be a hermit. I will have to continue going out into the world and smile for eight hours, hoping that people will like me enough to give me money for bringing them food and beverages. But not at Skooter's.

I've been there for a bit over 2 1/2 years. It's close to home, I like my co-workers well enough or have learned to accept that they are who they are. and the money is decent. I work hard; we're almost always busy and we move at an incredibly fast pace. I was amazed when I started there; who would have thought it would be so busy?

The thing about this place is that while we know they make money. they cry poor all the time. I understand the cost of doing business and I know that they pull in a more than tidy sum every month. Enough for trips to Hawaii and Chicago and New York City. Enough to live in the high dollar area of the country club. Good for them. I appreciate the fact that they have given me a job where I make a half-assed living. But these people just never quit being jerks.

Yesterday was my first work day after my usual three days off. I do my best to go with a good attitude. If I have to be there I may as well make the best of it. When I learned that they had installed 10! new spy cameras in the building, in addition to the 5 0r 6 that were already there, it just went right through me. The entire building is no bigger than the average convenience store and we need 15 plus cameras to watch every move that the staff makes? I think not. The camera guy was in yesterday and said something about things not working right until the Comcast guy did something to the internet service. This leads me to believe that the cameras will be visible not only from the office downstairs but from the bosses computer. Is this possible? I'm certain that it is. And it just led to more disgust on my part. If I can't be trusted then fire me. And everyone else and start over.

I'm insulted by the entire thing and have talked to my son about going to work at the CB where he's a manager. He left me a message last night and I phoned when I got home, asking what was up. He said he just had some work related things on his mind and wanted to talk to someone with common sense. (Dear child, that's one of the many reasons I love you.) He has two servers that he's thinking about letting go and asked if I wanted a job. Well, yes. I still have the application that I haven't completed but I'll get that done.

When I went in Tuesday night and helped bus tables and do dishes, one of the servers asked my son, "Who is that woman? She's a blur." "That's my mom. Watch and learn." I do move quickly and try to waste few steps. Multi-tasking is a must to be effective in the restaurant business and wasted steps cost me time and that means customers may be waiting and customers are my money.

I can't say I truly want to leave where I am now, but Iwill not work with a dozen cameras watching my every move. And possibly listening to every word I say. That is just way out of line. They have a good staff. I wonder how many they'll lose?

This is a theft issue, I'm sure. With 25 employees, theft can be a problem. We get a 20 minute lunch break, with our meal being one of the few free things allowed. That is the only time we are allowed to eat or sit down. Any other eating is considered stealing and, in fact, it is. If I haven't paid for it, I'm stealing it. Add that times 25 employees and it can be costly. We get two 5 minute breaks that will now be timed because there is a camera trained on the picnic table out back where we takes our breaks. That one camera annoys me as much as all the others combined.

I'm going to try to keep my mouth shut until I have another job secured. Wish me luck on that.

The weekend

2008-09-24T12:11:00.005-04:00

As it turned out, I didn't work Saturday night at the Columbus Bar. It seems they had enough help and that was fine. I told the GM that if things changed to phone and I would be right down. My son said he almost called twice on that busy night but decided they would just work through it. The car show is aways a busy night for downtown bars and this one was no different. I could have used the $45 I paid for my liquor permit but I'm certain there will be another opportunity.

I did help out a bit last night. Dished and bussing tables. John Mellencamp had a concert downtown at the Crump Theater and the bar business was hopping. Security was unbelievable! Streets were blocked by police cars in about a six blocks area of the theater. I'm not certain that there was that much security when Bill Clinton was here.

My son was frustrated with his servers again last night. They just can't seem to handle a frantic rush. Some just don't understand the need for urgency. Multi-tasking is necessary to the job and it seems to baffle them. I think they're too young.

Off to work. I really, really don't want to go. I'm fine when I get there but I want to be home. Someone help me find writing assignments that will pay me enough to stay home. Please!

Diabetes

2008-09-24T12:05:00.002-04:00

November 14 is World Diabetes Day. If you don't know much about diabetes, this is a good time to learn more. It's frightening at first. It's real scary to learn that your child has a life threatening disease. But the more we learn, the better we are.

Everyone probably knows someone with diabetes. Learn about it for your friend, for yourself.

http://www.worlddiabetesday.org/

I love cookies

2008-09-17T22:53:00.006-04:00

I've always loved cookies. when my son was very small, cookies were kept in a deep bread drawer. I remember a time he asked about cookies and I told him there were none. He stood on tip-toes to peek in the drawer and check for himself. The truth is that there were two cookies left, pushed all the way to the back of the drawer where I knew he wouldn't find them. What kind of a mother hides cookies from her kid?

On Friday my bank has free cookies. I rarely miss a Friday. I left last Friday without getting one and Linda called out, "Your cookie!" I told her that as unbelievable as it seemed, I had no room left for another cookie; my lunch was a handful of cookies I had made the night before from the recipe in the last post. Yummy.

I bake cookies or brownies every week. Sometimes I take them to work or to my son's work or share with the neighbors. Sometimes I eat them all. I've found that if I eat several good meals a week, I can live on chocolate and coffee on my days off.

I'm eating a chocolate-chocolate chip right now. Yum.

Easiest cookie recipe

2008-09-17T12:13:00.003-04:00

I don't mind the time it takes to mix up a batch of cookies but I do have a lazy streak when it's 10pm and I want fresh cookies. I've discovered this recipe and I use it a lot. Wonderful cookies.

Chocolate cake mix
1 stick butter or margarine ( I use Blue Bonnet margarine)
1 egg
2 Tablespoons water
Mix it all with a mixer, add about 6 ounces of chocolate chips, drop by teaspoonfuls onto cookie sheet, and bake for 9 to 10 minutes at 350 degrees. My oven actually takes longer so keep an eye on them or use a timer for a minute or two at a time.

A white cake will work also. Leave out the 2 T. of water.

I love these.

More and more money

2008-09-17T11:26:00.008-04:00

Like almost everyone else, I need more income. Violetsky has several part-time jobs and I need to follow her lead in finding more work than I have right now. I work four days at the restaurant and I get by on that but who wants to just get by? And this month I'm barely getting by. Mom had a birthday and I gave her cash to get something she really wants instead of something I picked out that she would simply put away and not use.

My son has no insurance and for some reason the health program here in Indiana that is supposed to help people like him has not processed his application. Two applications, actually. This has been since February. He's applying to Volunteers in Medicine, which is my first choice for him, anyway. He has said that they have a phenomenal diabetic team and that's where he needs to be. But in the meantime he still needs insulin and the meds for the neuropathy that causes him so much pain. I'm certain that there are those who would say that it's not my responsibility but I'm a mom for life. When my kid needs something, I'll do my best to help him. Most of his paycheck goes for child support for his four children. the rest goes for living expenses. I try to help him out every week and I'm glad to do it. He will not change jobs and in truth. there's not much to choose from here. He likes what he does and that's half the battle in going to work every day. The business is fairly new and he wants to see it prosper. He's good at what he does.

This weekend is Hot Rods and Rock & Roll downtown. I'm going to work outside for Columbus Bar after I finish my shift at the restaurant. I understand that I'll be selling the famous tenderloins and pulling draft beer. It will be a nice afternoon to be outside. Since I'll be serving alcohol, I have to renew my server permit with the state, $45 instead of the $20 it had been in the past. I know I'll make that back but it's just one more thing.

What a whiner, right? I know money will come when I need it. I have faith in the power of the Universe.

I may have to move...

2008-09-16T16:26:00.002-04:00

to the country. This is just too much. It's a beautiful day outside, a mild 70 degrees with a slight breeze. I baked a batch of chocolate cookies and fixed a fresh pot of coffee. Grabbing a large cup and a warm cookie, I took a book to the backyard to read. Not going to happen. A block behind me is the Foundation For Youth playground where little kids haven't yet learned not to scream when they play. Chris next door is bouncing a basketball. The dog beyond his house is barking because of the basketball, I suppose. And the guy across the street is playing his Mexican music that sounds like a carnival show is over there. I have to close my windows and I'm not happy about it. I'm looking for another house now.

Some weekends are better than others

2008-09-09T12:43:00.009-04:00

Sunday my son and I drove the 100 miles to see his oldest son who lives with his mother and step-dad. We haven't seen this boy in over a year. Family issues and other things that are not mine to discuss. My mouth may have been a factor.

Grandparents aren't supposed to have favorites but, in actuality, many of us do. This 10 year old boy is the bright star in my sky. He is a joy. Spoiled by his mother and other grandparents, he can be whiny and stubborn when he's expected to do something he doesn't want to do. We noticed that he still runs the house and gets his own way at meal time, refusing to eat what's on the table. That has always been an issue with my son. He doesn't force his children to eat what they don't like but they must try everything. If there are foods that they have eaten before and liked, then eat. No whining at the table. This boy gets by with that at home and there have always been tears when he's at Dad's.

We spent the day playing games and making cookies and just being together, sometimes just he and I, sometimes he and his dad, sometimes all three of us. He has a good sense of humor and many traits that he gets from his dad. He's a smart kid and we've always had fun just hanging out together. When we were leaving I hugged him and asked when he wanted me to come back. "Tomorrow." We finally agreed on two weeks.

I hate that he's so far away but that's where his mother was raised and she wanted to be near her parents so someone could do her thinking for he. Now she has a new husband so between him and her parents, she doesn't have to ever think for herself. Sounds unkind, but it's true.

The long drive gave my son and I time to visit without interruptions. It was good. We do enjoy each others company and I appreciate the fact that my son tells me that. We'll do it again in two weeks.

Capability, not age

2008-09-09T11:29:00.013-04:00

Celticbuffy is job hunting. It's not like she's looking for a job as a brain surgeon. She's looking for the instant cash that comes with waiting tables. Not glamorous but often profitable. She's had two interviews for one job and feels that her age... 30 something!... may be a factor in the manager's hesitation. I can relate to that.

When I was 40 I applied at a busy bar here in town. The manager liked young blonds and gave me the "we'll call you" line. I sat at the bar to have a cup of coffee and talked for a bit with the bartender and assistant manager. The manager called the next day. The two women I had talked with told him he better hire me because I knew what I was doing. He told me flat out that my age was the issue for him and asked if I thought I could keep up in a place that was frantically busy at times. I replied that I was certain I could. He still had reservations but he put me on the schedule. A few weeks later he asked me how much I was making, which was actually none of his business. I told him my weekly average and he put his arm around my shoulders and said, "Good. You're the only one here who can make that kind of money." Ha!

Another instance of age not being a factor happened a few months ago when my son returned from a meeting with his serving staff. He paced the front yard, muttering and obviously pissed. "They just don't get it, Mom. Maybe they're too young. There's no sense of urgency in any of them." I asked if he wanted me to come to work for him and show them how to do the job. "Yes, I do." I got an application and started to fill it out but the questions were so annoying that it's still on my desk. Questions about personal mottoes and micro-breweries and other cute questions that don't address the issues of weather or not I can do the job. That's really all they need to know. I haven't ruled out completing the app and turning it in but I'm in no rush to do it. It's a slow time for restaurants and bars so I'll just wait until the time is better.

Most of the servers where I work are well over the age of 40. Why? Because we have a work ethic. That's one of the questions my son asks when he interviews. "Tell me about your work ethic." If the response is, "What is that?", he pats the applicant on the shoulder and tells him or her to come back when he figures that out.

Experience should count for something in the work place. Everyone has to start at the bottom but it doesn't take long to see if a new person is going to make a good server. We move quickly. We have to multi-task. We have to smile all the time. We have to be observant. We have to remember that booth 5 needs more tea, booth 7 wants his salad with the meal, booth 2 needs a go-box, and booth 10 needs to shut that kid up. We line plates of food up our arms and hope that the screaming kid at 10 doesn't swing an arm out and knock everything out of our hands. (We work in a small space.) I need pie and the kitchen is busy so I go back for it myself. There's a line at the register and two people need to place order to go. Multi-tasking.

I don't particularly like the people I work for but I like the money I make. I work hard and probably walk no less than 5 miles a day. We've never checked it but some customers guess it at more like 10 miles. It doesn't matter as long as we can do it. It's not a fancy place and there's no prestige in working there. It's all about the money. If waiting tables is what you're going to do, go where the money is. And don't let anyone tell you you're too old or too young or too whatever.

Latest reads

2008-09-03T10:53:00.000-04:00

Earlier this month I was browsing and an ad for The Shack was on the page. I saw that same ad three times in an hour, a clear message if there ever was one. I looked it up somewhere and saw that it was selling like hotcakes, so I knew I wouldn't get it at the library for weeks. Walmart had it for about $10 so I brought it home and read it immediately. The story is a grief stricken man's experience with God. Most reviews are favorable, some are not. Many comments by the religious community are less than favorable but I don't think it was written to please them. If it opens one person's eyes to God, then it's done a good thing, besides being a good read. Mom stayed up way too late last night reading it and I had done the same. It's one of those hard to put down books that I love to find and rarely do.

Saturdays are killer days at the restaurant and I'm often too exhausted to do more than flop on the bed when I get home. Audio books are perfect for those days. I listened to for one more day by Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays With Morrie. The story asks the question, What would you do if you could have one more day with a loved one who has died? The main character in the story has that opportunity with his dead mother. Good story. Three disks, so it's not a long book.

Another audio book, 1o Things Your Minister Wants to Tell You But Can't Because He Needs the Job. I like to know a bit about writers of books that discuss religion but I haven't learned much about the author, Rev. Oliver "Buzz" Thomas other than that he's a Southern Baptist preacher and an attorney. The basis of the book is that the Bible is authoritative but not infallible. One chapter is What About Homosexuality? This is such a controversial topic that I wanted to hear his views. And before you ask, no I'm not.

It takes a special talent to write a good book review. I lack that ability so Google the title for reviews or check Amazon.

Allergies got me down

2008-08-19T10:25:00.013-04:00

It's been awhile since I've had a sinus infection that sent me to the doctor. I used to get at least two a year that knocked me flat for a week. It almost cost me my job so I decided that I needed to do something about boosting my immune system. I started taking Emergen-C every day and I know it helped. It also helped to be aware of what was causing the allergy. Mold. The carpet in my car had gotten wet and stayed damp, allowing mold to grow. when I drove to Mom's, bingo! I figured it out after being sick twice in one month.

For some reason I slacked off on the Emergen-C. Combine that with the fact that the ex-boyfriend has me mentally exhausted and I set myself up for any infection that came along. I just finished the antibiotic and I'm feeling so much better. Enough so that I was unusually busy yesterday doing things that I had put off for too long. I amazed myself by
* scrubbing the black mold off the awning over the front door
* and the gunk out of the bird bath
* nailing down the trim on the back of the garage that the neighbor ripped off a few years ago
* replacing a shingle that had fallen off the garage
* repotting three plants that were long overdue
* painted one grungy white plastic lawn chair that is now bright yellow with the grunge muted but not hidden. It looks out of place with the other white chairs so I'll have to do something about that.
* drug rugs that won't fit in the washer outside and cleaned them. The cats have a real bad habit of barfing on the rugs.
* tidied the kitchen and actually put dishes away
* did three loads of laundry
* swept the front porch.

What a productive day. I can't imagine what got into me. I can put things off for the longest time but it's not laziness. Usually on my days off I write. Not lately. For the past three weekends I've been so busy with the ex and his problems and have not written one article for Helium. I'm going to try to get something written today. No, not try. I will.

Didn't I tell you I would pay?

2008-08-06T23:05:00.004-04:00

In an earlier post I said I would pay for not going in to work when they called on my day off. I knew it would happen. I work Wednesday thru Saturday, four days. Not this week. The schedule was posted today and I'm off Saturday and I run the cash register for four and a half hours on Tuesday. That pays something like $7.25 an hour. Waiting tables averages out to no less than $12 an hour on a bad day and is more like $17 on a good one.

I will stop at a small restaurant tomorrow and ask for an application. I'm the only one who gets this kind of treatment at work and I'm so over it. I told the boss today why I didn't come in yesterday and she acted like it was just fine. She is so two faced. I can't stand people who simper to your face when you know they can't stand you.

It bothers my mother that the boss doesn't like me. I'm there to make money, not friends. If friendships happen, good. If not, I can live with that. It's a job. But I need enough hours to make it worthwhile. I know this punishment will pass. Not everyone wants to work Saturdays, including me, but I know it's the only way to get that fourth day.

I get along with the entire staff at work, both day and evening shifts. The only one who gets under my skin is the boss with her power plays. God, please let me win the lottery and call in RICH!

I'm trying to be a friend

2008-08-06T11:45:00.005-04:00

The ex-boyfriend has been dying for as long as I've known him. He had two heart attacks in his thirties and was certain he would die of one before he turned 40. Didn't happen but that hasn't stopped him from walking around with his hand over his heart and a pained look on his face. Or from drinking three 30 packs of Bud a week.

Now he has something else going on. He's waiting for the results of a biopsy for prostate cancer. This man has been depressed most of his life and won't admit that drinking increases it. Now he's in such a state that he cries all the time, afraid of what's going on with his health. He has run off most of his friends because of his negative attitude about everything and everyone. Hates everything except beer and guns. (Know why I left?) His daughter hasn't called since Father's Day and his son is over about twice a month. His father's dead and he doesn't like his mother. I'm pretty much all he has left. Oh, he does have a few friends who understand that beneath all the ugly is a good person, if he's sober.

He was here Friday night. He was here Saturday afternoon and night. I talked to him a gazillion times on Sunday. And Monday. Tuesday I was exhausted.

He did see a doctor on Monday. His doctor, a GP, doesn't do insurance so he had to find another one. I have no idea who did the biopsy and he's not talking about it. He wants me to know he's sick but not many of the details. I'm trying to be the best friend I can be. It's wearing me out.

I'll pay for that "No"

2008-08-06T11:29:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was a day off. I woke up feeling like I was swathed in cotton. I could not wake up. I had a shower and a cup of coffee. the phone rang. "V. forgot to schedule a 9 o'clock person. Can you come in shortly?" No. Another cup of coffee and I still feel like I've been drugged. The phone again. "Can you come in at 4? L. will come in now and work until 4 if you'll come in now." No.

There is a tendency toward pay-back at the restaurant. Knowing that I would like one more day a week, they refuse to give it to me. When I get a call like yesterday's, I know I should go in. The thinking seems to be "if you need more work, come in when we call". I should and often do but yesterday was foggy all day. And we all have set schedules. Someone knew they should have been on the schedule for 9am Tuesday but chose to have that extra day off. So what will happen is that I will probably be cut one day on this schedule.

I know I need to get some applications out but I'm 60 years old and there is not a great demand for 60 year old servers. With most hiring being done by people the age of my son, older workers are overlooked. My son does understand that people my age have a better work ethic than many younger people but he's a rarity.

I really don't want to go in today either. Yesterday was mental exhaustion catching up with me.

Helium and Associated Content

2008-07-25T21:45:00.018-04:00

I mentioned in the previous post that I write at Helium and Associated Content. Violetsky , who posts more on her blog in a week that I do in a month, asked how to find my articles at each site. The links are the site logos on the right side of this blog. Each one should go directly to my page. I don't have a lot of articles compared to most of the others who write for each site. Some people must have nothing else to do in a day but write... no job, no kids, no grass to mow, no significant other to appease., not pets to feed. I don't have some of those things, either, but I do have a job and a house to keep up, mimimally, at the very least. I also eat and sleep and try to write.

I find that when I know nothing about a subject, it takes me several hours to feel that I have some grasp of the subject. Then I need to learn more. I don't like to appear ignorant. I want my articles to be accurate and as full of information as I can get into the desired word count. Some articles take time to reword into something that won't cause the reader to nod off mid-sentence. Not everything is exciting to read about but a good writer can make it almost seem so. That's the writer I want to be and writing at Helium and Associated Content (AC) gives me the practice that I need to improve.

At AC, if it's not good enough, it's not accepted. The pay is minimal and often simply pay for the number of views the page gets. Pennies per gazillion. They do have a "Call for Content" that pays a few dollars for the article but they tend to get snatched up pretty quickly, probably by those people who are home all day.

At Helium, articles are rated by the community, giving an idea of what others think about the article. Not everyone likes the idea because each of us has our own idea of what is good or not, but I'm okay with it. I read articles that have a higher rating than mine to see what the writer did to make it better. There is also a "Marketplace" for freelance writers. Anyone can write the requested article and the publisher buys the one he likes. What happens here is that you write on spec, hoping that the 500 words you've spent time on will make the grade and you get paid. Those that aren't purchased are transitioned into the main site and pay is similar to gazillion views as AC. The pay for those that are bought is anywhere from $20 and up. Travel articles have been going for $40 and there were some horse articles this week that paid $75 and higher. I tried for one that was paying $100, an About Us page for a horse magazine. Mine didn't make it and since there was no place on the site for the remaining articles, they were deleted. Made sense. But I really wanted that money.

Money is a factor for me. My income is what it is and even a little more money is welcome. I have done some writing for free, even spent a lot of time writing grant letters for an organization in California some time back, but I prefer cash. It goes to my PayPal account and it makes me smile.

If you write... and if you have a blog, you do write... consider writing for Helium or AC. There's a lot of satisfaction in getting paid, however little or lot. "Almost anyone can become an author; the business is to collect money and fame from this state of being." A. A. Milne

Chaos reigns

2008-07-21T15:19:00.018-04:00

I have no idea what had kept me from blogging the end of June. I do know about this month. About the 4th I decided to paint this room. It's a very small bedroom that has a twin bed, a hutch that holds books, and a computer desk, and the stuff that goes with it, including a table that holds the printer and scanner. A lot of stuff for one small room. Getting it out took too long. The getting ready to paint part is a nuisance. It would be so easy if I could just jump right in with paint can and roller. Deciding on the color took too long. I'm not always good at decisions. Actually, three walls were going to be white and only one with color. How difficult should it be? So I got the junk out of the room, then remembered that that wall has a big chunk of painted- over wallpaper missing. Meaning that it had to be scraped to remove 60 years of paper! It didn't take as long as one would think but then I saw that someone had plastered heavily in random areas and they would not sand down to where it was even and not looking like crap. The guy at Lowe's, who was not as knowledgeable as I needed him to be, said I would have to use an oil based primer before I painted the wall. Fine. I did that. Cleanup was not as easy as the can said it would be, either. I looked at a variety of textured paints to cover the blemished wall. The one I liked was $40 a gallon. Not going to happen. I went to Walmart and bought a two gallon bucket of basic textured paint. Have you ever used that stuff? Try not to. It's pretty messy but it did what I needed it to do.

Two other walls and the ceiling are white. I wanted an apricot color on the other wall. I have no idea why. By this time I was so disgusted with the entire project that I was unwilling to spend another dime on it. I had a gallon of pale yellow and a quart of a rose shade and mixed them to give me something pretty close to what I wanted. It's fine. This project that should have taken two days at the very most took eight days! Eight. Insanity.

I'm not that slow. I started on a day off, worked the next day, had to go to my son's for dinner the day after. Mom came over twice in the eight day period and I did have to work some days. And I probably went to my son's for another Sunday cookout. Oh, the paint roller. The roller I used on the white walls would not come off of the handle thingy. Would not. I had to cut it off with a knife. I probably beat and thumped it a few times because when I tried to roll the apricot paint, it wouldn't roll. It would push, but not roll. I had to go to Walmart for another one. I had gotten the stuck one at Lowe's so it shouldn't have been so junky that it couldn't withstand a few whops on the counter. (I wrapped it in a couple plastic bags before thumping.) More distractions than I normally have in a month. Anyway, the room is painted and I tried to limit the clutter that went back in. Sort of.

In between then and now, I've been doing some writing at Helium and Associated Content. Both have deadlines and I had to get the work finished. I amazed myself a few days ago by getting one article finished after work one night and another before work the next morning. There is nothing difficult about them but writing about things I know nothing about takes me awhile and I am very critical of my own work. If you check them out, and please do, feel free to be a critic.

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Camp Atterbury is in action today. My windows are shaking.

Update on my son

2008-06-27T22:56:00.015-04:00

My son has had diabetes for thirty years, since he was six. He's always done whatever he wanted, it never held him back. He didn't let his disease rule his life. He's always been healthy, otherwise. for which I'm so grateful. He's had some problems recently with tingling and pain in his feet and legs, diabetic neuropathy. It's caused from long time diabetes and high blood sugars. My son has often had high sugars and a lot of very lows. When he was younger, it was called "brittle" diabetes, hard to regulate and keep under good control.

He saw a podiatrist yesterday and the doctor told him his circulation was good. He gave him a prescription that my son didn't really want but he knows he needs something to help with the discomfort. No, not discomfort, pain. He's been waking up during the night and that can't continue. Rest is essential for him. The doctor did suggest those long socks recommended for diabetics, the ones that go up to the knee. There is blood leakage that I don't fully understand but these socks are supposed to be helpful. I got four pair for him today so we'll see how that goes.

I haven't had a lot of time with my boy since he moved back with his significant other, the mother of his two youngest children. Waking up with his children is important to him and I want for him what he wants for himself. He has a busy life in that household and with both of us working, we haven't had much time together lately. We're friends, my son and I, and we miss having time to just sit and talk over a cup of coffee. We call it Mom and Kid time. We discussed that today and he will be over Sunday for an hour or two before picking the kids up from the other grandparents. Not a long time but it will do. I stop in where he works, Columbus Bar/Powerhouse Brewing Co. several times a week but that's not the same as the one on one time that we enjoy. I'm looking forward to Sunday.

We will talk about his health and go into more detail about the visit to the podiatrist. We'll talk about his home life and I'll try to not be unkind about the woman he cares for. We'll talk about the children he loves so very much and that he needs to have near him. He has talked about another career that interests him and I would like to see him move in that direction so I'll let him know what I've learned about that. We'll give lots of hugs and kisses. It will be good.

Maybe we shouldn't eat it

2008-06-26T22:24:00.009-04:00

Way back, a friend stopped over and noticed the Fruit Loops in the yard. They were a bit stale so I threw them out for the birds, who wouldn't touch them. A friend stopped over and commented, "If the birds won't eat them, what should that tell you?" Right. So I guess the same goes for Honeycombs, because even the grackles and starlings won't eat them. The squirrel, either. No more Honeycombs for me.

I get this stuff for the grandkids when they visit, then I'm stuck with it after they go home. None have been here to stay overnight for some time, so that cereal must be really old. The same goes for sour cream chips that the oldest grandson likes and barbecue chips that the middle granddaughter has to have. Nasty stuff. I'm not a big junk food eater and I tend to seal the bags up well and keep them, knowing full well that no one will eat them before they get stale.

That is a saving thing. I've mentioned this before, but it comes from being raised by parents whose own parents went through the Great Depression. They saved everything because they might need it later and there would be no money for it. String, aluminum foil, rubber bands, old clothes and shoes, paper bags, chipped cups, everything. I'm working on getting rid of stuff that I have no need for. Most of us have way too much stuff and I've decided that it's got to go. I started with the cereal and that was not a success but I'm certain that I have more stuff in the kitchen that the birds will like better than Honeycombs or Fruit Loops.

Mom and I both went through our closets and pulled out things we haven't worn in eons and will probably never wear again. Mom has wonderful taste in clothes and tends to buy classics that never go out of style. I buy whatever fits my body and budget, never giving much thought to fashion. I worked at a bank for a very short time and bought business type clothes that have been in the closet for too long. Lots of blazers and blouses and skirts. Some suits. The majority of them are gone. Mom brought her stuff over and I gathered up mine, saw that it was all clean and took a car load of stuff to The Assembly of God here in Columbus. So many people here have lost everything and some women actually do need nice clothes to wear to work, unlike me. Someone needs it, I don't. Less stuff for me.

I will not be going to yard sales or to Goodwill. If I go, I will buy more stuff that I don't need. I'm on a campaign to clear this house of things that take up space and are seldom used. Stuff. I'm also going to buy smaller boxes of cereal so I won't have to force the leftovers on the birds.

Helicopter training

2008-06-18T23:00:00.002-04:00

If no one hears from me after tonight, I'm certain it will be because of the helicopters circling my house. I heard them when I was in the shower after work. They just kept coming. What's going on? The flood and evacuations are over. I hurried into my jammies and went outside. One rather large helicopter was headed southeast, another over near the now unused hospital. Hmmm. I came back in. Then they came back. I went back out. Same big helicopter headed same direction. Then I remember seeing the article in the newspaper that Marines would be at Camp Atterbury for training in how to get around towns and cities in their choppers. Good, but does it have to take place right over my house? Can't they learn this stuff somewhere over the cornfields first, then fly over someone else's house? It's 11PM, a beautiful night for having the windows open and I have helicopters circling overhead with pilots in learning mode.

Here they come again.

How low can you go?

2008-06-18T11:32:00.009-04:00

Since the flood waters receded, Columbus Police Department has arrested 24 people for suspected looting. Taking things off the lawns of damaged homes, things that had been set out with the hope that when dry it would still be usable. Things like washers and dryers, lawn mowers and bicycles.

The police here are to be commended. They have taken a no tolerance policy toward looters. The flood victims have lost enough with having scavengers stealing the little they have left. Police have patrolled the hardest hit areas on foot to discourage low-lifes from further looting and have encouraged people to call if they see someone picking through the debris that may look like trash but is still someone's stuff.

This community has been so supportive of those who have lost so much. Except for the 24 scumbags.

Columbus flooded

2008-06-14T21:23:00.038-04:00

I've been away for awhile. I've been writing places other than this blog. I actually got paid for two articles. Forty bucks each is not the big time but it works for me.

And like thethinker, I can get out of the habit of blogging when I miss too many days. Then I begin to wonder why I bother. Doesn't that sound pathetic?

Like so many other parts of the Midwest, we had a flood. We didn't expect it and if the dam at Prince's Lake had held, we may not have had the water that we did. It missed me by three blocks, only because I'm on higher ground. The rest of my family is safe, too. My son urged me to come to his significant other's house because I was right in the path of the flood. I didn't know what he was talking about, but when my power and phone went out I knew something was going on. I scared my son by not leaving and I've apologized for that. He knows that water scares me... I don't swim, how dumb is that... and he wanted to protect me. I had no experience with flash floods and had heard but didn't understand how fast that water moves. Lesson learned.

This is Pleasant Grove, four streets from me. It sets very low. It takes a running start to get to the top of the street. It doesn't matter now. I can't imagine that the houses can be salvaged. See the high water mark on the houses? These are the people I ache for the most. They didn't have much to start with and now they have nothing. Many were rental houses, some were not; they were just all that was affordable. A co-worker's parents lived there. They're coping, as are most of the families. What else is there to do? You can see more photos at The Republic.

One of the waitresses I work with rented a house just beyond Pleasant Grove on 7th. She lost everything. By Monday the house was rank with the smell of mold. She and her husband were fortunate to have a relative who was just ready to put her house up for sale and let them take over her mortgage and even left a bit of furniture for them. We collected money at work and will give that to her on Monday so she can get some of the things we forget that people need... sheets, towels, dishes, a toothbrush and some underwear. Not everyone at work gave. Some probably didn't have it; some said she's in a house and has furniture, so why?

Then there are the heroes. This is a yard two blocks from me and just across from where the flooding stopped in our area. These good people have been feeding anyone who wants to eat since last Saturday. They have grills smoking and tables piled with food and coolers of cold drinks and hearts as big as any I've seen.

A neighbor across from me took his boat down to Mapleton and Pleasant Grove when the flood hit and helped rescue old people and their pets and went back for forgotten medicines. Another hero.

From around 4 pm until almost 10 pm Saturday we listened as helicopters carried patients from the flooded hospital to hospitals in other towns. I sat outside with neighbors until past midnight, then got up again at three to go next door and tell Russ that the subdivision his parents live in was being evacuated. So was East High School which had been set up as a shelter and was now taking on water. No one slept.

I know that many areas of the Midwest have been hit much harder than Columbus. We have received attention from the media because our hospital took a real hit and will not re-open for months to come and because Cummins Engine is based here. I grieve for all of those who have lost their homes and belongings and maybe loved ones. I have little patience for those who are complaining that they still don't have cable and had to be without air conditioning for three days. Get over it. A few days ago I caught myself starting to complain about some inconvenience in this house. I stopped and reminded myself that I need to be thankful that I have a home, no matter how much repair it needs. Dozens of my neighbors don't. Be safe.

Flood photo from Wikipedia, taken by Jason.

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T20:44:00.019-04:00

There was a fair turnout for the Veteran's Ceremonies on the courthouse lawn this morning. After the Master of Ceremonies greeted the crowd, we stood for the National Anthem. It never fails to bring tears to my eyes. The speakers were veterans, as were most of the men in the audience. Another name was added to the Veteran's Memorial this year, 57 years after Coporal Virgil Phillips was listed as missing in action in Korea.

Human remains were discovered during road construction in North Korea and the remains were recovered by a team from Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command in 2005. With DNA supplied by a relative, the remains were identified as Virgil Phillips. Corporal Phillips was returned home and buried in the town of his birth, Loogootee, Indiana, in April of this year. Today I spoke with friends who attended that funeral and they said it was one of the most moving experiences they have ever witnessed. Military uniforms were everywhere and veterans from past wars came to honor a long missing soldier. As the funeral procession passed through town, people on porches and in front of stores stood and cars pulled over and stopped until it passed. Three little boys on the sidewalk stopped and looked at the procession, then put their hands over their hearts. That, my friends said, caused them both to get teary.

Today, after placing wreaths at the memorial, a 21 gun salute, and Taps ( I can't get through that without tears, either) we were thanked for attending, and the program ended. I had noticed a young soldier in dress greens and beret. So young. Baby faced. I turned to go to my car, then I turned back to where the young soldier was leaving the row of chairs. I extended my hand and as he took it I said, "Thank you." He smiled. "Thank you, ma'am."

Whether you like what goes on in this country or not, have you thanked those who put their lives on the line for us? Sometimes when I see soldiers from Camp Atterbury doing their shopping at Wilmar, I've been known to stop one or two, just to say thanks. It's not often that they hear it.

Thanks to Columbus Area Visitor's Center for the photo of the Veteran's Memorial.

I'm here.

2008-05-21T22:01:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted in a week. I got past the depression. Sometimes it just takes time and no full moon. I spent this past weekend doing very little because I did something to my back and it hurt to move. I really believe that I tensed every muscle in my body at work on Saturday. I had words with one of the day waitresses and it wasn't pretty. to be certain I behaved the rest of the day, she ran downstairs to the office to let her know. That pissed me off because of the pettiness of it. We all have times that work relations are strained I've found that as we get busy, we tend to get past it. She did try to apologize later but I rudely let her know that I wasn't going there. It wasn't a nice thing to do but it seemed right at the time. It still does.

It was a depressing weekend

2008-05-13T22:43:00.037-04:00

Depression sometimes sneaks up on me when I'm not expecting it. I had plans for a nice Mother's Day. That went totally to hell. I knew I was a bit irritable when I got up Saturday but I spent the day trying to write... with little success... and getting food together for dinner on Sunday.

I should have seen it coming when I couldn't make a decision on what to cook. I had chicken breasts; what to do with them? How hard can it be? It was an agonizing day with that crisis going on in my head. What to fix with the undecided poultry dish? Mashed potatoes? Mac and cheese? Noodles Alfredo ? Do the kids even like that? What about a chicken and rice casserole? Again, how hard can it be?

The whole thing was a waste of time and a ridiculous amount of stress for nothing. The furnace quit. Yes, the new furnace that I just finished paying for a few months ago. It was installed January of 2007. Sunday was a cool day and I just needed to run the furnace enough to get the chill out of the house. Wrong. I phoned my son and told him to pick up the uncooked meal and take it to his house. By this time I was in a really crappy mood. When my son and the kids got here, it took incredibly little time for the kids to drag out every damned toy they have here and scattered them throughout the living room. Then the dinosaurs started roaring, all three of them... aarrrrooooaaaarrrr. I love you, son, but.. They stayed long enough that I could have cooked the meal myself.

I do not want to go to my sister's. I want to flop on the bed and bawl. So I did. No one phoned to see if I was headed to Brown County because I had already told Mom earlier that my day was on a downhill slide.

Monday wasn't a lot better but I did manage to string more than 15 words together. In fact, I actually finished a short 250 word article and got it submitted. And it took all day! Again, how hard can it be? After that I cut the grass.

Oh, I paid the repairman $103.

Today, I stayed in bed an hour longer than usual. That feels good but I feel like I'm way behind when I get up. Not that I have a schedule to keep, I just like to get something accomplished every day. My first accomplishment today was yelling at my neighbor when she was generous enough to bring me some starts from here flower bed. Nice, huh? Then I phoned Mom and asked if she wanted to go out for lunch to a place she had mentioned yesterday. No. Okay, we'll do something else.

I sneaked out the back door so I wouldn't chance having to face my neighbor. On my way to Mom's house just outside of Nashville, I stopped to pick up some flowers for her where I usually get them and, being just after Mother's Day, the pickings were pitiful so I bought some huge muffins to go with lunch. She was glad to see that I was in a reasonably good mental state because mothers worry about their crazy children. We had salad and sandwiches for lunch and she baked a coconut pie right after I phoned to say I would be over. She had baked one for Sunday, but then I didn't show up, did I?

After lunch we drove over to Bear Hardware to get some dirt and see what they had for flowers. I bought four Superbells Trailing Blue for less than Lowe's or Walmart had them and they are so much nicer. So is the staff. Mom told Ed she forgot his cookies and he patted his belly and said he could get by a few more days.

We drove out to my sister's to pick up the yellow begonia she was going to give me on Sunday. Then we went to the candy store to let my sister see that I was almost normal. We ate some chocolate cherries while we were there.

Michael's Flower's ( no web site, if you can imagine that ) is my favorite store in Nashville and I wanted to see what they had for flowers. Not that I buy many there. They're pricey and I'm cheap. We spent an hour looking around and I enjoyed every minute we were there.

Then back to Mom's for coffee, more coconut pie, and bird watching from the deck. I love watching the birds and she has so many more out there in the country than I do in town. (While we were at my sister's a huge pileated woodpecker was at the feeder just outside the big windows that I envy.) We both enjoyed the day and I guess it worked out okay that I stayed home Sunday because I probably wouldn't have gone today. Mom and I enjoy one on one time.

Hugs and kisses and I'm headed home. Stopped at Menard's and browsed the flowers and got the dirt we forget to get earlier. Being so close to the CB, I had to stop and see my boy. Hugs to some of the staff and I sat with Jim while he had his dinner. Last week his boss wanted to give me his phone number to let him know if Jim was getting burned out or overly stressed. As he walked past, I called out, "He's stressed! I'm letting you know." Of course, only part of Jim's stress comes from work; the majority of it is from that woman who wanted to be out of his life until she saw that he was getting on with his, then it's a whole different story. Don't let your guard down, Son, because she likes to keep things stirred up.

Finally home. I unloaded the car and hauled the dirt into the wheelbarrow to keep the mess to a minimum. It's 8 PM and I just can't deal with a mess tonight. I potted the flowers and went out to move a few things in one of the beds. My neighbor came over and I immediately apologized. She accepted it with, "I just caught you at a bad time." How gracious. We looked at flowers for another 30 minutes or so and here I am.

And when do I ever put so many links into a post?

I really need my Prozac refilled.

Mother's Day

2008-05-10T13:19:00.009-04:00

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I may or may not have time to post here. I will probably cook dinner for my son and some of his children. He works nights and sleeps late, then picks up his two youngest from the other grandparents. It's just easier for me to cook the meal myself than for him to try juggling the things he needs to do. There is no way I would go to a restaurant on Mother's Day, the busiest day in the restaurant world.

By the time my son heads home and I get everything cleaned up, it will be time to head to my sister's in Brown County for dinner with her, her boyfriend, my other sister, and Mom. My sister's boyfriend always does the cooking. He tends to be a bit heavy-handed with the garlic but he's a good cook and does it willingly for us every holiday. Bless him.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day.

My boss...

2008-05-07T23:23:00.007-04:00

...is a bitch. There's no other word I can use to describe her right now. I have told her repeatedly that I can not live on three days a week. I work Wednesday through Saturday, every week, a regular schedule. Or it had been for the past several months. That seems to have changed once again. I'm off Saturday. The girl who's been there for a few months has my day.

What in hell is going on? Not more than a few weeks ago I asked my boss straight out if she wanted me gone from there. No, she said. "If I wanted you gone, you would be. You've seen me do it before." A real charmer. What she does is cut the schedule and people quit. I will not. She will have to fire me.

I am very good at what I do and the girl who has my Saturday is not. She's slow, she's not observant, and after several months, she still has to look at the menu to check prices for every ticket she writes. She's very good at clean up, though.

This girl's mother has been at this job just a few months less than I have. She's good. A little abrupt, but a good waitress. The last time, just two weeks ago, that I lost a Saturday, her comment was "That is just bullshit. That's one of your regular days." I wonder if she'll feel the same since it's her daughter who got my day.

I'm definitely ticked off. I have no recourse because this is a family owned restaurant. They can do what they want. If you don't like it, leave. And those very words have been said. The money is good so we just suck it up and go on but I'm wearing thin here.

I have an application for another place, one where my son is a manager. I'm not certain that it would be a good thing for us to work together. He thinks it will be fine and wants me there. He gets frustrated with the younger people on his staff, says there is no work ethic (duh) and no sense of urgency. Restaurant work is fast paced and customers want to see the staff hustling to get out the food and drinks. It doesn't matter if it's busy or not, dawdling is not acceptable.

It's late, I didn't win the lottery, so I'm going to have one of those chocolate cookies I made yesterday, and go to bed. I will be better in the morning.

I've been gardening

2008-05-06T23:24:00.026-04:00

This is a PS at the beginning instead of the end I'm going to point out that if this post publishes the way it looks in compose mode, it is not my fault. It's Blogger's. But I'm too tired to fool with it anymore so I'm posting it as is.

I've spent the last two days getting all the gardening stuff done. I just pushed myself to get everything together and get it planted. I'm going to be taking aspirin before I go to bed. I've pulled, raked, hauled, dug, and watered. The yard will look fantastic in a few weeks. I've used colors that I don't usually use, a lot of pink and salmon and purple. I tend to like reds and yellows and have a bit of that but I needed something different this year. Flowerseeds has the details of what and where.

If you live in Indiana in North Carolina, did you vote today? I did. My mother demands very little from her children but she does that we vote.

I've found some new blogs... new to me, anyway... and will tell you about them in the next day or so.

I made some really, really good

chocolate cookies today. I had tried them the other day but adjusted the recipe because I couldn't believe cookies can be made with one-third cup of flour. They can. They are good. they are sooo chocolaty.

I think I'm ready for bed. I may have a cookie first.

Richard T. Gray, Combat Artist

2008-04-29T21:12:00.022-04:00

I saw my friend Richard Gray today. Mom and I were playing tourist in Nashville and stopped at the Art Barn. As we browsed the paintings, we noticed that many were Richard's work. We got to talking about how we had not seen him and Caroline for a year or so and decided to drive out to their house and just rudely drop in. As we headed down VanBuren (photo), we saw Richard walking in the other direction and waved. I made a terrific u-turn without getting busted by one of the town's finest and pulled into a parking spot next to where Richard waited on the sidewalk. We hugged and talked, trying to get a year's worth packed into just a few minutes. His cell phone rang and after a few words he handed it to me. Caroline. I told her we had planned to drive out and she said just come on then. After only one wrong turn I found the house on Rennie Seitz Road, where Caroline sat by the side of the road, waiting for us. More hugs and we all said how good it was to see the other. And we meant it. We went in the house and Caroline made a pot of coffee. Her daughter Dana was home and we all talked non-stop for about two hours. It doesn't matter how long it is between visits, it seems that we pick up right where we left off. How is it that we get so busy... or is it too lazy... to take time to see people who are special to us?

Richard was a combat artist in Vietnam. I hadn't known that there was such a thing until I met him. Richard grew up a sheltered and gentle person and, like so many others, was deeply affected by his time in Vietnam. He has put up a web site that has some of his combat art and other work. It's worth seeing. My friend's art is wonderful. Go here. Be sure to see the self-portrait. I love it.

And if you have friends that you haven't seen in too long, go there.

Work for cookies

2008-04-26T20:35:00.003-04:00

I had a list of chores to do today and had about six started at one time:

the sweeper was in the middle of the living room
a load of laundry was in the washer
the makings for cookies were on the stove
the garage door was open to get to the mower
a rake and shovel were in the yard next to debris from flower beds
I know there was one more that I've forgotten.

A neighbor had stopped over while I was cleaning a flower bed and asked me to find some info for her when I took a break. It didn't take long for that time to come and I quickly found the information she needed. When I went next door to tell her, she offered coffee. Well, yeah. We sat and chatted for awhile. Her teenage grandson came to get her mower to cut the vacant lot between our houses where he and the other neighbor boys play football. Soon I noticed that he was cutting my lawn. Bless that child. He's done that before and has come over and taken the mower from me and finished the job for me. Today three other boys each made a few passes with the mower. Good kids. And all they will take for pay is cookies. Chocolate chip. What a deal.

In a time when we hear so much about what kids do wrong, I wanted to pass on something that was done as a kindness, with no expectations.

Health care?

2008-04-21T22:19:00.003-04:00

There is something so wrong with health care in this country. We are the richest country in the world, yet 47 million of us have no health insurance. Without insurance, it's very hard to get a doctor to see you. This is a fact. a few years ago my son was looking for a doctor here in Columbus. He went through the entire phone book listings trying to find a doctor to treat his diabetes. "Do you have insurance? No. Why not try calling so and so?" And on it went until he was forced to go to the emergency room and refused to leave until a doctor gave him a prescription for insulin. This is just insane.

Tonight he phoned the pharmacy to refill one of his insulins and was told the prescription had expired and he wouldn't be able to get it until tomorrow. what if he absolutely needed it right now? How stupid is that? Years ago no prescription was needed for insulin. It's not exactly the drug of choice. A needle is required to inject the insulin and that is probably the reason a prescription is necessary.

Fortunately, he can wait until tomorrow but what if he couldn't? And why did he wait until he was out? Money. At $80 a vial, it's not pocket change.

I am so pissed.

Earthquake!

2008-04-18T10:29:00.004-04:00

I woke up sometime after 4:30 this morning, nothing unusual for me because I often wake up several times during the night. I look at the clock and go back to sleep. Sometimes I wonder what it was that woke me. This morning it must have been the tremors from an earthquake. I wasn't aware of it until Mom asked me about it when she phoned at 8 AM. She woke up at about the same time to find her bed and ceiling fan shaking wildly. She would watch the news and let me know. When I went out to feed the birds a few minutes later, my neighbor opened his window and yelled out to ask me if I felt the shaking this morning. Apparently, it was a 5.4 quake and I did nothing more than turn over and go back to sleep. The quake was felt for hundreds of miles from the center in West Salem, Illinois, and while there was some damage, fortunately, it was minimal.

I hate diabetes

2008-03-30T21:45:00.016-04:00

My mom and my son and three of his kids were here for dinner today. This could become a Sunday tradition. I think it's at least three Sundays in a row that Mom has joined us for dinner. My sisters don't care much for the idea of her driving over here but I don't see it as a big deal. She's 80 and there's not a thing wrong with her. Keeping busy is the best thing for her. She cooked the pork chops because I really don't do them well. Never have. I think I cook them to death. She did a great job on them and she was glad to do it. She said she would rather help with the meal than just sit and watch me. I like that idea.

My son was in some pain caused from diabetic neuropathy in his feet and legs. Neuropathy is nerve damage caused from years of high blood glucose and having the disease for many years. My son has had diabetes for 30 years and the pain started about a year ago. Diabetic neuropathy can affect almost any part of the body, including sweat glands. My son often sweats like a field hand when he eats and he said he's almost ready to stop eating in public. Keeping his blood sugar in good control is helpful but he's not doing well lately. Emotional crap screws up his sugar faster and more severely than anything else. If the mother of his two youngest would leave him alone, he would be 50% better. If the mother of his oldest son would stop being the cold bitch that she is, he could improve another 50%.

There are topical creams that help with the pain but they only last so long, as does any topical ointment. There are prescription drugs available but the side effects sound worse than living with the pain. I suggested meditation and told his friend and his oldest daughter the same thing. I'm hoping that they will have more influence than I seem to.

Parents of children who have a life threatening disease know how scary it can be. No matter how old he is, he's still my little boy and I want him to be well and pain free.

Waiting tables for a living

2008-03-28T11:04:00.016-04:00

I came across a blog last week... and no, I didn't save it... that had a gazillion comments to a post about tipping waiters/waitresses/servers. One person didn't seem to understand how servers get paid and had the idea that we work for nothing. Sometimes it seems that way but this is how it works where I am now. We are paid $2.13 an hour. A percentage of sales is added to my paycheck for tips. It is then deducted as "tip withholding" so I don't actually get it. So with taxes taken out, my average check for four days ( that's all she will give me ) is about $30. I depend on tips to make my living.

This is the only restaurant where I've split tips with the other servers. This works out okay because there this place is small and we work together to take care of all the customers. There are no designated sections as in larger establishments. The only time we have a problem is when another server doesn't keep up and pull his/her own weight. This is a fast paced restaurant and not a place for beginners. The pace surprised me when I started. I've been doing this for 30 years and the first few days really kicked my butt. Who would have thought that a place that seats 66 people would keep so steadily busy?

Tipping is questioned by some people. Is it necessary? If I was paid a decent wage, menu prices would have to be higher to compensate. It's a trade off for the customer but not all see it that way. One man said to me that it seemed that the owner expected the customers to pay my wages. Maybe. But what they are paying for is service. Fast food workers hand you food on a tray and make far more hourly than I do. I bring everything to the table with a smile for $2.13 and hour and hope that the customer appreciates the service.

If a person doesn't like to tip he should stay with fast food places. I work hard for my money. I put in eight hours serving and one hour cleaning. I would work six days a week if I could get them. Five would be good. Four is what the boss gives me and I've posted about that before. We get a twenty minute lunch and two five minute breaks and the boss acts like she's doing us a favor to give us that much. But it goes with this job so it's fine.

Most of our customers are age 40 and up. Many are way up. They often need a lot of attention. An older man was in with his daughter last week and, tired of waiting for her to stop chatting with other customers, told me he was ready to order. He ordered a big breakfast. "My daughter thinks breakfast is cereal." When I took the food to the table, he said, "Now, young lady, you're going to have to help me here. I can't cut this sausage." He had had a stroke and one hand didn't work so well and he needed a little help to get his meal ready to eat. Glad to help. He's 93 years old.

We had a little rush last night and I stopped to get an order from a woman who had been waiting for a bit. She said it was okay, she was in no hurry. Her face told me I needed to ask "Are you okay?" "You know, don't you?", she asked. "What?" Her husband had died ten days before and she was just beginning to get out. We knew he wasn't well but none of us thought he was near death. She cried. I stayed and talked. It's part of the service.

There are places in town where I would make far more money. I've worked in some of them before, when I was younger. That's the true issue, my age. I'm almost 60 and, even though I don't look it, managers want younger servers. There is no doubt that I can work circles around most of them but they are younger. And in truth, I don't want the late hours that other places have. I'm home around 9PM. Working until 11Pm or later isn't something I want to do anymore. Another thing about other establishments; I've probably been there and quit. And when I quit, it's instant. If I don't want to work there, no one gets two weeks notice. When I'm done, I'm done. I don't deal well with stupid crap and when it gets to be too much, I'm gone. I'm not proud of that and it's cost me a few very well paying jobs, but that's the way it is. I've bit my tongue so many times on this job that it's a wonder I can still talk. But I don't want to leave this job. I like my customers and co-workers and it's a mile from home. And, about the only places left are the big corporate restaurants and I don't do corporate. I lasted one week at Denney's as a manager trainee before I told the supervisor that the whole thing was a cluster-**** and left.

It's time to get dressed and put on a smile.

Smoke alarms

2008-03-27T10:36:00.002-04:00

I"m furious after reading an article about five children who died in a house fire in Arkansas. They were two smoke alarms in the house. The one upstairs had NO batteries. The children were sleeping upstairs.

How difficult is it to check smoke alarms? How pricey is it to buy batteries? Check your alarms now. I just checked all three of mine and they work.

Damn it, how careless can parents be? When my sister and her children died no one had smoke alarms. One may have saved their lives.

Check yours.

Easter is over

2008-03-23T21:06:00.008-04:00

I got through Easter. I find that as I get older, the less I want to take part in holidays. They get to be so much work. Of course, my son never lets me know anything until the last minute so I'm rushed to get everything done in a short amount of time. When I mentioned this to him today he just said, "That's how we do it, Ma." So, how about we get a new plan, Son?

Mom came over for dinner, as did my son's roommate? housemate? They share a house. Mom had never met the friend and later said how much she enjoyed talking to him. He's helpful and polite and witty. It was a pleasant meal, even with the two little ones not eating much. We just let them be. One wanted to eat only rolls with butter and the other wanted yogurt. Fine, eat what you want. These are the two who are usually such good eaters and I made a point to mention that fact so no one would press them to eat. Sometimes we just want what we want.

I followed my son out to his house to see what they've done since they moved in a few weeks ago. It's coming along. It's a few miles out of town in farm country. The landlord is a bit slow at getting some cosmetic things done, but with the nicer weather coming, the guys can do some of the needed work themselves.

It's difficult to be starting over when you're 36. My son just wants a home for himself and a place to bring his kids. His ex-significant other seems to be a bit ticked by the fact that he's signed a year's lease. As long as he lived with me he was in limbo. Now he's starting to get his life together again and she doesn't like it. Too bad. He'll be just fine.

Shoes and more

2008-03-21T11:50:00.007-04:00

I love shoes. Pretty shoes. They have been hard to come by in the past few years but this year there are sooo many that I want to own! The thing is, where would I be going to wear these shoes? I go to work, I come home. I go to Mom's, I come home.

And pretty shoes require dresses or skirts or something other than jeans. I sometimes do wear heels with nicer jeans... I read somewhere that heels and jeans are an absolute do not, who cares?... but that's a rarity. More common are work boots.

But don't you sometimes wish for the days when we used to dress better than we do now? Unless you're very young, which means you don't remember wearing clothes that actually cover the entire body.

Maybe this is the year that I'll attempt to improve my appearance. Maybe. We've gotten so comfortable in jeans and tennis shoes that everything else feels like a costume. These shoes are on sale at Goody's. I'm thinking that I really need the yellow pair.

On another note, if you smoke pot, don't do it where you work. Especially if the owner's son-in-law is a cop. This tends to end in termination of employment. We lost a dishwasher this week. How dumb.

On an up note, my son has been promoted to a higher management position at Columbus Bar/Powerhouse Brewery. Good for you, kid. He's very good at what he does and he's such a people person. He has a way of cutting off drunks that doesn't piss them off. He did not learn that from his mother. Congratulations, son.

Random stuff

2008-03-19T10:32:00.003-04:00

I was browsing blogs this morning, clicking that "next blog" thing at the top of the page. The majority of blogs were in a language that I couldn't read... which is anything other than English. Many were just photos with no captions... why? In the end, I gave it up. No point if I can't read them. But I did stop by Theory of Thought for something I can read.

In a post back in January I stated that I would absolutely not vote for John McCain. I may have to back up on that. I'm not comfortable with the fact that Obama has had a twenty year relationship with someone who holds the views that his minister does. Wouldn't a person with political ambitions disassociate himself from such a person? Does he agree with these views? He can tell us anything but how do we know what's really in his heart? It just doesn't sit well with me.

I'm iffy on Hillary. I like Bill. Everyone like Bill. He's America's favorite whoredog.

It's raining here in Indiana. It rained yesterday and I took advantage of that to do as little as possible. Some days we just need to curl up with a good book and snack all day. That's what I did.

I seem to be having real difficulty in coming up with posts that aren't dull as dishwater. I'm working on it.

Are you old enough to remember?

2008-03-14T12:07:00.005-04:00

People used to help one another. If there was a big project that needed to be done, friends, family, and neighbors pitched in to get it done. Or maybe that was just in my neighborhood when I was a kid, but I don't think that's the case. People used to know who lived not only next door but knew everyone on the street and probably several streets over. If I gave it some thought, I could name almost every family that lived in maybe a six block area of where I grew up. Here, I don't know who lives in the fourth house on my block.

My dad (center in photo) was a carpenter, the son of a carpenter. Dad's two brothers didn't work as carpenters but they knew how to do most everything involved in building a house. They built the house I lived in as a kid and my uncle's house. They helped with a neighbor's garage and helped tear down a rickety, unsafe shed in the same yard. If an outlet wasn't working, they could fix it. If the plumbing was falling apart, they could fix it. A new roof? That, too. For big projects, plan for the weekend and be sure to have plenty of cold beer.

I would like to find one person who knows how to do all that stuff and actually shows up to do it. Hiring a plumber, an electrician, and a roofer will cost me a year's pay. Dad's been gone four years tomorrow and the only brother left is not likely to climb on my roof. My male cousins are probably capable and would be willing to help me with some of this stuff but everyone is scattered and we hardly know one another any more. That's sad, isn't it? My son is not the handiest person in the world but I think he will probably be able to help out with the roof. Plumbing and wiring are way out of his range.

Keeping up a house is pricey and I've not done the maintenance that I should have. Now it's going to cost me. I had better learn to be handier than I am. I've replaced one outlet and didn't like it one bit. Dad was alive then and gave me precise instructions over the phone. I still didn't like it. Haven't we always been told that electrical outlets and screwdrivers are not compatible?

The walls around the bathtub need a tub surround and I'm told that it's not a big deal to do. Except that I know... assume... that some of the existing wall needs replaced. I can knock that out as well as the next guy but it's the putting back part that has me stumped. Don't think I want to attempt that. And the shower needs fixing. I really, really hate messing with plumbing. The last time I replaced a faucet was one of the most frustrating things I've ever done. The instructions make it look easy. Not.

So, of you're a handyman, or woman, and live in my area, let me know. I have work for you.

Changes

2008-03-13T10:42:00.003-04:00

My son moved furniture yesterday. He and a friend rented a small house several miles out of town in farm country. He knows he's welcome to live in this house as long as he wants but the last time I reminded him of that he made two statement:

I'm almost 36 years old. At this age, I have no business living with my mother.
This is your home, not mine. It's not right for me to move in and take over your space.

He left me a note yesterday to say he would be out today to spend some time with me. I know he's concerned that I will get depressed because he's not here. I would love for him to continue to live here; that a mom thing. But we all need a place of our own and this is a good move for him. He mentioned that it's been a long time since he's lived on his own and it's a little scary. It's growth and moving on.

He will be sharing the house with a good friend so it's not like he's out in the boonies alone. I'm not certain how their work shifts differ but I think they'll be fine. There's a huge yard that needs some serious attention and they plan to put in a vegetable garden. That will be fun for his kids, too.

He works just a few minutes from my house so it's not like I can't see him every day. I probably won't but I could. I have one child and it could be very easy to smother him but that's something I try not to do. He's an adult and doesn't need mom being a pain in the ass. And he would tell me if I was. I love my kid.

Favoritism?

2008-03-04T16:22:00.012-05:00

I was sleeping soundly when the phone rang and I jumped up to answer it. "Can you come to work this morning? Helen's sick."

"I guess I can. What time is it?"

"It's 4:30."

"In the morning? Oh my god!"

I hadn't gotten to bed until about midnight and I wasn't waking up well. I phoned to see if there was any possibility of anyone else going in. No. The other day servers don't answer their phones on their days off. Neat trick.

I worked in a fog but got through the day. After work I went downstairs to talk to the boss. I had several things I wanted to speak with her about but mainly the fact that there are three days when we can count on extremely good tips and Server G has three of those days, Server L has two, and Server Me has one. Couldn't these days be distributed a little more equitably? Server L was hired two months after me when I had called in sick for the second time in three months and returned with a doctor's statement. Before she came I worked Monday through Friday and took my Saturday rotation. (Server L does not like working Saturdays, has stated that she will not work Saturdays, and has made herself so unpleasant that the Saturday staff has refused to work with her. Goal achieved.)

Regarding my request for equitable distribution of days, the boss said, "Gee, I don't know if I can do that." She tells me that I had asked for fewer days and hours. When? When I was taking classes, said I needed to study. Well, duh! Did I not tell her after I finished classes that I was ready to pick up more hours? Her response is to hire more people that we don't need.

"If the hours are not here, I'm going to have to pick up something on my days off."

"Oh, do you think you can find a part time job?"

That led me to tell her that there I times when I get the feeling that I'm not wanted there.

"I did have two complaints about you this morning. Two different tables said you were unfriendly."

"I'm the first to admit that I should not be allowed around people before ten in the morning." And I got there at 5:30 AM, you're very welcome.

"Of course, you know that not long ago I was told you are the best waitress I have." Everyone has their favorites but I am very good at what I do.

"I don't mean customers... I mean you personally."

"Me? Oh, no... if I wanted you gone, you'd be gone."

So, what do you think?

Am I being unreasonable?
Is there some favoritism here?
Does it appear that management doesn't care if I'm there or not?
Am I just looking for things that aren't there?
Does it matter that Server L drinks with the bosses mother and I don't?

I do know this... I will never go in at 5:30 in the morning again.

Indiana and illegal immigrants

2008-03-04T13:21:00.010-05:00

Indiana legislators have finally listened to the people and are in the process of passing into law a bill that will fine those who hire illegals. It's about time. It's a three tiered system over a five year period where fines are imposed the first two times and the third time the company could lose it's license to do business in Indiana. Three strikes and you're out. Unfortunately, this won't take effect until July 2009. What are we waiting for?

Another unfortunate part of this bill is that it doesn't address illegals and public services. It was included at one time but there was a great debate over the issue and now it's not there. I don't have details. They don't really matter. Illegals should not have access to public services and that isn't going to change this year. Too many public officials are afraid of being called racist. It's not racism; it's about not spending our tax dollars on people who broke the law to enter this country.

So who's going to do all those jobs that Americans won't do? Or Hoosiers, in this case. Well, employers may just have to pay more to get workers. The wage in some jobs has stayed low because illegals will do those jobs for less money and why pay more if you don't have to? Well, they just may have to pay something over $7.00 an hour. Will the cost of goods and services go up? Maybe. We'll just have to live with that.

This bird...

2008-02-24T15:20:00.004-05:00

A bird very similar to this one has been in my neighborhood for some weeks now. I saw a photo in the local newspaper that said it was a falcon. Actually, this photo is of a falcon, a peregrine falcon. Why have I never seen one of these before? I used to live in the country and would see hawks and even an eagle once, but never one of these. This guy was sitting high in a tree in my backyard last week, right where the bird feeders are. I was wondering why there were no birds at the feeders and when I looked up I saw why. Tough guy scared them off. I saw this bird again yesterday. He was in a tree across the street, feeding on something he had killed. I watched him through binoculars and saw more than I really wanted to see... small black feathers floating down from his beak. I know it's nature but it's still ugly. About the bird. I've spent probably two hours looking at photos of falcons and hawks and I believe my lurker is a falcon. It could be a Merlin hawk. I took several photos but he was so far away that I don't expect much. I've only seen him perched; I would love to see him in flight.

Writing

2008-02-16T21:15:00.005-05:00

I've been working on an article about... of all things... fashion. I am the most unfashionable person I know. When I told Mom about it, there was a long pause, then laughter. The ex-boyfriend had a similar response; "When you finish it, maybe you can put it to use." Ha ha. But they could be right. I'm finding it difficult to write about something I know nothing about. I'm far from being a good writer but I can string a few words together in a coherent manner. I've been at it all evening and finally resorted to spider solitaire. I have the beginning of a headache, the grandkids are here tomorrow, and this next week I work five days 1-9 PM and Saturday 10 AM-3 PM. Not a lot of time to work on anything but sleep. I'll try to finish it in the morning and lock myself in this room for a few hours in the afternoon, if necessary. Writing 1000 words isn't rocket science and I need the writing practice.

I remember sitting on the front porch with a friend... Mary Piper?... when I was seven or eight. I held a doll and a notepad and pen or pencil. We were talking about what we would be when we grew up. I was going to be a journalist and live in a house with a white fence. I would have six kids... give birth to three and adopt three. (Thank God that didn't work out!) As life would have it, none of those things have happened except I did adopt one child, the joy of my life. He's soon to be thirty-six (when did that happen?) and encourages me to sit at this computer all day and write. If by some fluke I actually sell something, no one is happier for me than my son.

Memories

2008-02-09T18:12:00.000-05:00

Forty years ago my older sister and her two daughters died. Time only does so much. She was my best friend and I miss her every day. I get so angry at her sometimes for leaving. It was an accident that shouldn't have happened. But it did. Gloria, Vanessa, and Bobbie Jo... I miss you and love you so very much.

So how does that figure in my thinking that things happen for a reason? Mom reminds me that it brought our family back together after years of fighting and bickering. My younger sisters became closer to Mom. Dad stopped arguing with Mom about things that no longer mattered... they had already been divorced for years. That's all good.

There's really no point in trying to find reasons for some things... they just are the way they are. But when loved ones are taken from us suddenly... one minute here and the next minute gone forever... we search for all the whys and what could have been different. Futile, but human nature, I think. Even after forty years.

Keep your loved ones close and get over the petty stuff. Gives hugs and kisses and smiles and lots of I love you's. Take lots of photos.

Be safe.

More politics and other stuff

2008-02-06T22:40:00.000-05:00

I really don't like the way these primaries are going. By the time we vote in Indiana, will it make a difference? Last night I spoke with my younger sister and she said Hillary is getting her vote. Are you certain you want to do that? Then I let it go. We don't debate well. It always ends with someone screaming "bitch". Not worth it.

I can't say I'm fond of our choices. I like Romney, but his chances look slim. Huckabee is okay, but his chances are less than slim. I think Obama needs a bit more experience. If we have to have a Clinton in the White House, I would rather have Bill. He's a whoredog, but we still seem to like him well enough. He got caught doing what's been going on forever and came through it better than we thought he would. I don't like McCain. I don't trust McCain. I don't want anyone who is not going to enforce existing immigration laws. I abide by the law; what makes it right for others not to?

I think our country needs to return to the values of the fifties. People took pride in family and work, in being honest and in helping others. Families spent time talking, not watching tv. Sunday was for church and family, not football. Kids were told to behave and don't you dare talk to me that way. Parents had time to enjoy days off work instead of running their kids to the mall or working extra days to pay for the mall shopping trips. We've gotten off track somewhere and we need to find our way back. Family is where it all starts.

The grandkids have been passing a cold around and it's my turn. I don't like it. I've been using Emergen-C (lots of vitamin C and immune system booster... great stuff) for some time so it's not as bad as it could have been. I'm going to bed.

Who's getting your vote?

2008-01-31T10:55:00.000-05:00

I've said this before and it's worth repeating: my vote in Indiana's primary will go to the candidate who takes the firmest stand against illegal immigration. That doesn't give me many choices but Romney will have to be my first choice. Absolutely NOT John McCain. Actually, if anyone is paying attention, McCain will tell his audience what ever it wants to hear... and change his statements according to his audience. A bit wishy-washy, don't you think?

There is no getting around the fact that too many people are comong into this country illegally. Are they doing jobs Americans won't do? Well, just across town here, they are doing jobs Americans used to do, until those citizens were all laid off and replaced with lower wage illegals. How do I know they're illegal? Just a wild guess. I can drive around my east side neighborhood and see anywhere from four to ten vehichles parked at a house... in the driveway or in the yard... many with Spanish words tattooed across the windows. Some come into the restaurant where I work, usually bringing one person along to interpret for them.

I go along with this statement from President Theodore Roosevelt's 1907 : "In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American. There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag. We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language. And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Read... or just browse... this very long report: The Dark Side Of Illegal Immigration
Facts, Figures And Statistics On Illegal Immigration at http://www.usillegalaliens.com/ . It's full of information that you may not have seen before because no one is tracking most of it. I'll admit that the title of the report is a bit dramatic, but then, maybe it's not.

I don't want to be this busy.

2008-01-28T08:45:00.001-05:00

I have several days off in a row and I enjoy them. The older I get, the less I want to do. But things have changes around here and lazing around with a stack of book for three days is no longer an option. My son is with me for now and his two youngest children are here most days from morning until mid-afternoon. I wouldn't have it any other way but it does create changes in my lifestyle. There's far more laundry, toys to put help away, meals to prepare, the disappearance of solitude. I'm adjusting, sort of. My selfishness is probably the biggest factor. I like my time alone but I truly wouldn't want my son's situation to go back to what it was. So I'll continue to adjust.

My mother fell down the deck steps the other day and gashed her head. Wrong shoes, not thinking how slick the soles were. She should have put on the boots that are right near the door for the very purpose of going out to feed the gazillion birds that flock to her feeders! Lesson learned. She really does feel bad about having to phone me to take her to the emergency room and that the doctor said someone should be with her overnight. At 80, I know there's the fear of losing one's independence and needing another person around to help with things that older people shouldn't or can't do. I don't see that happening with Mom any time soon. Her family tends to live long and remain independent. I wish that for her.

This post may just be ramblings.

On my days off, I sit here with the intention of doing some actual writing. Too often I just stare at a blank page. I look for writing prompts. I browse writers sites for inspiration. I have no direction. I have that fear that so many writers have of not being good enough. Of course, one has to actually write to be a writer. Just wanting to be a writer doesn't get it.

Is everyone working at being rude?

2008-01-20T17:18:00.000-05:00

I just came in from doing some couldn't put off any longer shopping. I was gone about 2 1/2 hours. I hit four stores. More than once I almost left my cart where it was and walked out. If I wasn't for the fact that I would have had to go back for what I didn't get, I would have. I can't count the number of people who pushed their carts directly in front of me to get where they wanted to be. Didn't matter that I was already there. No "excuse me" or "sorry about that." Carts parked in the middle of the aisle while the shopper was out and about somewhere. And how about just using the center of the aisle as your personal lane? That seemed to be another popular thing today.

Checkers didn't seem to worry about customer satisfaction today, either. Two spent the entire time talking to a person farther back in line while they were scanning my purchases. The only time I was acknowledged was when they asked for my money.

Let me add a word about cell phones. It is so so so rude to use cell phones in stores and restaurants. Get the hell off and take care of the business at hand.

Does no one have manners anymore. Is everyone so self centered that they don't care that they are being rude? Courtesy is so easy.

Where have you been?

2007-12-26T22:15:00.000-05:00

The last post here was on my 59th birthday and here I am approaching 60 in a few months. How did I get to be 60 and why haven't I posted? Life just takes over sometimes and runs with us. I can't say I've been doing anything so productive in the past eight months that should have kept me from here. Maybe it's just that the day to day stuff of life isn't always interesting to read about.

I did keep very busy for several weeks putting together a slideshow for my mom's 80th birthday party. One of my sisters thought it would be fun for Mom and suggested that I be the one to gather the photos. What she said was "You get the photos and we'll put them on a disk." When I got them all together and took them to her, what she said was "No, you put them on a disk." I told her I'd never done it before and didn't know how to go about creating a slideshow. And she said "There's a program on your computer; you'll figure it out." Yeah, right. After days of scanning photos, I realized the program in My Photos wasn't going to do what I wanted, so after researching various programs, I finally bought one and started THE PROJECT. It was a real experience. The program allows music to be added but didn't always save it where I wanted it. Sort of moved stuff around a bit. Just enough to screw up the finely planned music to photos that I had spent hours working on. I lost five pounds. That was the good part. I lost sleep. I was beginning to panic because time was running out and I didn't have THE PROJECT finished. I slept less. I decided that I wouldn't close the program so nothing else would get moved. Just a glitch in the program that almost put me back on Prozac. Finally, I was satisfied with the slideshow. Let's get it on some disks. That didn't work, either. "No disk...no disk... no disk" Yes, there is a damned disk and why don't you recognize it? I bought every brand of disk and "no disk... no disk." I went to find another brand; something has to be recognized as being there! Out of the corner of my eye, a plug and play burner, way more money than I wanted to spend but time was running out! Bought it, plugged it in, and burned disks for the whole family. This took me over a month to finish. It was exhausting. But Mom loved it and I got a lot of good feedback. and I lost five pounds.

It's here

2007-04-10T20:33:00.000-04:00

I said in a previous post that my birthday is a time of reflection.... where I am, where I'm headed. I'm pleased with my life. I have loving family that are all in good health. Me, too. I have a good job that I like most of the time. I make decent money. I have a nice, if untidy, home. I have good friends, here and online. Life is good and getting better every day.

Mom came over with lunch and a yummy cake, the first birthday cake that she hasn't baked herself. And she came bearing gifts.

I went to my son's to sit with the kids for awhile and they gave me some wonderful garden ornaments... collorful metal people holding pails that serve as flower pots... and and a garden angel, all chosen by my boy who knows his mom's tastes so well. Click on the photos to read the best gift of all.

Life is good.

Funerals

2007-04-06T12:31:00.000-04:00

I've been to funeral homes too many times this year. One is too many. Friends have lost siblings, some expected, some not. Expected or not, it's never easy. Today I made a quick visit to pay my respects to Beatrice, the sister of a friend, mother to another. The sister is doing well, the daughter is not. There are no words to make it easier. Only time can do that.

I noticed a woman across the room who seemed very grieved and asked my friend who she was. The other daughter, the one who seldom visited, the one who didn't respond to her mother's plea to come see her. Sad, because it's too late now.

I'm of the generation that takes food and other stuff to the family when their has been a death. A lot of friends take food and desserts, things that keep the family from having to think about such mundane things as nourishment. I like to also take some things that the family may need and run out of when there is a house full of visitors. Coffee and extra filters and coffee cream, napkins, paper plates, throw-away silverware and cups, several boxes of tissues, a roll or two of paper towels. I'm not patting myself on the back here; I'm offering a suggestion for when the need arises for you. I've been there and know how much those things are appreciated.

Birthdays

2007-04-06T11:44:00.000-04:00

I know a lot of people with birthdays this month. Thethinker is one. Happy birthday! When my birthday roles around, I always think of where the past year has brought me. Have I grown in any way? Have I done anything to help me become a better person? Have my finances improved? Where has the past year taken me and where is the next one headed?

Too bizarre

2007-04-03T21:04:00.000-04:00

There is news that is really weird, then there is the article about Keith Richards, of Rolling Stones fame, that goes beyond weird into the realm of way beyond bizarre. His father died a few years ago and was cremated. According to AP, Richards mixed some of the ashes with cocaine and... this is just wrong. "He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive." You can read it here.

I have no views on a life-size chocolate Jesus, other than to say it's in poor taste... no pun intended... but many New York Catholics do and the show was cancelled. Apparently, the artist works with food, which I don't see as an art form unless it's a really intricately decorated cake. That's food art. Well, on second thought, isn't art supposed to nourish the soul or something?

And for those who celebrate Passover, no pot smoking is allowed during this time. The hemp seeds are not acceptable. Michelle Levine, a spokesperson for Green Leaf, Israel's pro-marijuana party, said: "You shouldn't smoke marijuana on the holiday, and if you have it in your house you should get rid of it." Article and discussion here.

That has amused me for a bit. we had some severe storms today with tremendous wind. I didn't like it. I don't mind storms and all the accompanying noise but I do not like the high winds. A coward through and through. I used to head to the basement when the sirens started until the eight year old grandson pointed out that there were windows everywhere. Duh.

And once more I will probably have to bite my tongue or stick a sock in my mouth around my son's significant other. He is such a joy. She is so not. I am truly really honestly trying to accept people as they are. She is my greatest challenge. Suggestions?

Things I love about my son

2007-04-02T22:20:00.000-04:00

Our children can make us crazy but they are the joys of our lives. As a teenager, my son once told me that making me crazy was his job; that it was one of the unwritten rules of childhood. As he grows older, he still does things that make me roll my eyes but he also does so many things in a day that I admire. He is the primary caretaker for the three children that live with him and his significant other and he does it so well. I don't know many men that would do the majority of the caretaking, household chores, cooking, shuttling kids to appointments, and hold a job. And just accept that this is how it is.

His sense of humor is quick and more than a bit off the wall. When he was ten I was certain that he would never have one. He does and I love it. I saved a message he left on my machine because I love hearing his cheerful voice: "Hi, Marge Wise; this is your baby boy!"

He loves his children and shows it every day. He tries to be such a good dad.

His two oldest children live with their respective mothers. Believing that he has missed so much of their daily lives, he is determined to be right where he is to raise these three.

He does what he has to do in any given day. Some days he complains, some days he doesn't. I know I would vent far more than he does.

He gives his significant other space to be who she is, even though it puts more responsibility on him. He loves her very much.

He gives lots of hugs.

He's not ashamed to cry.

He doesn't feed his kids junk. He cooks real food for them. (I taught him that.)

He calls his mom often.

He calls me his best friend. And he is mine.

He's a good kid. I'm glad he's mine.

A mixed day

2007-04-02T21:20:00.000-04:00

The weather was just about perfect today and it seemed like a good day to visit Mom. I Picked up a pot of tulips that are still unopened buds and several small begonias to take to her. She was pleased. We walked up the hill to the vacant house that used to belong to my grandparents and picked all the lilacs that were blooming. Later, in town, a friend at the flower shop gave each of us three huge pale pink roses. Combined with the lilacs, they make a stunning display.

We stopped at the post office to mail a package to my aunt and inquire about the new Star Wars stamps. We found ourselves talking to woman who was trying to figure out what was in the three packages she was about to mail so she would know who to send each to. I offered to help her unwrap them and happened to look up at a woman standing in line. She was watching us with a smile on her face. "Go on", she said. "You're entertaining us."

We stopped at the candy store to see my youngest sister and I asked her boyfriend if he was going to cook Easter dinner for us. Bless him, he said yes. He's a wonderful cook but isn't able to get too creative on holidays because my sister wants just the same foods she had as a kid. That's fine. She loves tradition and so do I. So it will be ham for dinner because that's what Dad always fixed for Easter dinner.

Two of my close neighbors had relatives pass away; one yesterday, one today. One brother, one sister. One had cancer for some time, the other was unexpected. It doesn't really matter; loss is never easy, expected or not.

Another neighbor has a spot on her lung and I can only think good thoughts for her.

I was telling Mom today about the blogs I read and how some of the writers are going through such difficulties in their lives. Too often we tend to think that we have things rough. Our lives are a walk in the park compared to some. We need to appreciate the sameness of every day and be grateful for days without a crisis.

Blog reading

2007-04-01T18:14:00.000-04:00

I did get some necessary chores done today but actually have spent most of the day reading blogs. There are so many good ones out there. What an experience blogging has been. All the new people I've met, sort of. Those few who seem like they've been long-time friends. Blogging has brought the lives of people from around the world to each of us. We learn to care about what happens in their lives and share their joys and their grief. We find that our own troubles are sometimes very minuscule compared to what others are going through and we should have learned to be grateful every day for the blessings we have.

In no particular order, here are some of the blogs I've read today and yesterday. It is so good to work only three or four days a week!

another blogging Steele A recent recipient of The Thinking Blogger Award, this blogger is going through some things right now. Everyone can use support but not everyone wants advice. Good stuff here and great photos.
Everything And Nothing is a by a blogger who is closer to my age than most others. Hooray. She is a Reiki practitioner and her posts are about a variety of things, none dull. Great photos here, too.
Artsy Etc. has had a lot going on in her life and is doing just fine hanging on. Another blog with super photos. Scroll down the page for incredible storm cloud photos.
Public Static Void Bean may give you some things to think about and will definitely make you laugh. Don't miss the older posts; the very first is a good indication of his humor.
Curious Servant at Job's Tale writes on topics of faith and with the experiences he is going through, it's good that his faith is strong. Excellent writing here.
Dan's Blah Blah Blog gets a lot of visitors because Dan keeps them, and me, entertained.
This Just In is another winner of The Thinking Blog Award. Gnightgirl over there is the mother of a US soldier in Iraq and I do understand her hair issues.
To do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. "I don't smoke pot. I gave it up a long time ago when I discovered that when I mix pot and alcohol, I puke." Need I say more? Go there.
Windfall Woman is going to be a favorite. She came into a large sum of money, won't say how, but she's doing good stuff with it. Large tips to servers, anonymous gifts. One post was about her trying to find a Dirt Devil sweeper. The first thing I would do If I had gobs of money would be to hire a cleaning person and let her/him pick out their own sweeper!

Just some highlights. Enjoy.

More of the same

2007-03-31T22:24:00.000-04:00

There are a few more things that came to mind about how we appear in public. Now this may seem bizarre to some of you, but don't you think people who have dentures should wear them? I know they take some getting used to and some folks never seem to get used to them, but can't that be corrected? I've had several fittings to get this new partial to feel more comfortable and the dental technicians seem to feel that it takes some time to get the fit just right. I've also taken an Emery board to a few rough spots. I know; I probably shouldn't have but I did and I was more comfortable. I just can't imagine why someone would pay the high cost of dentures and never wear them. And I'm definitely too vain to go out in public without my teeth.

One more for the women. Have you noticed how many women walk like ducks, feet turned out? I looks awkward and ungainly and unattractive. Why do they do that? I've seen so many women who were dressed beautifully and walked liked clods. Do they not notice it? So, walk a bit more gracefully.

Is that a fashion statement?

2007-03-31T15:29:00.000-04:00

I'm probably older than you and I don't care much about what I wear these days. Fashion has never been my strong suit. Mom still asks, "Are you sure you want to wear that?" To which I usually ask, "Why? What's wrong with this?"I get one of those looks that only a mother can give. So even with my total lack of fashion sense, I still know that some things just should not be worn to certain places.

I do not consider flannel pajama pants to be public attire. In the yard or a quick trip to the local Circle K for milk, okay. To a restaurant for dinner, to the grocery, even to Wal-Mart, no.
Flip-flops are not shoes. Funeral attire should be a bit more formal than what would be worn to the beach. It's a matter of respect, yours and the deceased. If you own nothing other than flip-flops, I'm certain there is someone who would be more than pleased to loan you a pair of shoes to wear to the funeral home. Wash your feet first and wear socks.
Bathing suits are not restaurant attire. Wet or dry, don't expect me to serve you in your bathing suit.
Wear a shirt! Men, what are you thinking? You only think people want to see your body. NO! Hanging around the yard is one thing; running around town is a definite no.
Pants that hang down to the knees should be pulled off the wearer and strung up the nearest flagpole. It's bad enough that we have to look at bare bellies. I do NOT want to see some kid's ass hanging out.
I don't want to see boobs, either. I have a set and if I feel the need, I'll look at my own. Are there any blouses made today for women under the age of 60 that actually cover the breasts?
If you have huge breasts, please wear a bra or some other form of restraint in public. I'm guilty of going bra-less when I can, but I'm not that big and bouncy, either.

We have become a nation of the most casual. I admit that comfort is a factor and I like to be comfortable as much as anyone, but are pants hanging around the knees comfortable? I doubt it.

Random thoughts

2007-03-27T12:59:00.000-04:00

I'm still exhausted from the weekend. I worked a few hours Saturday, then four of the grand kids were here for most of Saturday and Sunday. I don't keep up as well as I used to. My son was here and he is great with his kids. A small fence will help the two little ones understand their boundaries better. We'll get that done soon.

The weather was perfect and the kids played outside all day. At one point I noticed the 11 year old was missing and found her sitting in this chair. Not. It's too nice of a day to be inside so out. My son and his family live in an apartment and the kids don't often have the opportunity to run in a yard so I was determined that she would be out with the other kids. And she had fun all day.

There are often huge gaps in my blogs because I run out of things to write about. I've been browsing other blogs, as usual, and find that others don't seem to have the mental block that I do. I think writing every day helps but sometimes I'm just stuck.

I'll be going over to my son's shortly to watch the kids for a few hours. His significant other took on extra hours on Tuesday that interfere with him getting to work on time, not that she cares. Or makes any actual money in the three hours she picked up.

R. lives with my son and his family and helps with the kids, far more than their mother does. He's about 27 and a bit slow, but he's wonderful with the kids. And if they had to pay a sitter it would eat up their entire pay. R.'s brother died unexpectedly the other day from a heart defect that no one was aware of and the funeral is tomorrow. I've taken off work to help with the kids. and I do want to be there for R.

Spring breaks are taking place and Mom is working some at the candy store. As the season gets busier, she'll work about 30 hours a week. That's enough for 79 years old. But it's good for her to stay busy and be around people. Having a reason to get up is important for everyone, no matter what the age.

With warmer weather, I open all my windows first thing in the morning and, once again, I get to hear every barking dog in the neighborhood. The house just outside this window has four. And, new this spring, is the yelling of the two little boys across the street. There is no screen in their front door, so the two little guys hang out the raised glass and shout all day in Spanish. I love it. Not. I closed my front windows yesterday evening because I was trying to read and they were a real distraction. The mother slammed a side window the other evening when some neighbors and I were sitting out next door to her house. We were talking and laughing and she must not have liked it. Too bad.

I've stated this before: I am not racist. I do have real issues with the illegal immigrants that flood this country form our southern border. And yes, I do assume my neighbors across the street are illegal. Ask them? They don't speak enough English for that type of conversation. We will have to learn to communicate somehow when the other neighbors and I get together to tell them that will have to clean up the junk in their yard. The folks on either side of them work at keeping their yards nice with flowers and shrubs and regular lawn cutting and it's not fair that they should have to look at the junk in the next yard. So we're going to tell them. No, my place isn't perfect but I do pick up trash that lands in my yard and I keep my junk out of site in the garage. They have a garage; use it.

Okay. If I actually had any readers I would expect some irate comments. One the other hand, it's my blog and for my opinions, right?

Divorce and other stuff

2007-03-23T10:06:00.000-04:00

When I separated from my first husband back in 1974, it took forever to get him to agree to anything so we were in court several times, always over child support issues. The judge who heard our case was too old and too old-fashioned, putting his own beliefs before the law, and should have been removed from his position. My ex decided he didn't want to work for something like five years. I recall the judge asking, "How can this man pay support? He doesn't have a job." Well, get one. But he did award our one vehicle to my ex, leaving me with no way to work. When that car was repossessed for non-payment, guess who was sued for the balance? You got it; me. I was once ordered to sell our lawn tractor, the only thing I had to cut the acre + that we still owned jointly. The reasoning was that the money would cover some of the child support that I never got, a sum of $15 a week.

I worked with a woman whose divorce went before this same judge. We worked nights at a restaurant/bar. A nice place, not some dive, and the money was good. Mary had two young boys. She was with them during the day and her husband or his mother kept them in the evenings. Mary worked part time so she could take classes a few nights a week to learn to do something other than wait tables. This judge awarded the boys to the husband because Mary "has no business working and going to school when she should be home with her children". She worked to save money to get away from the clown who took scissors to every piece of clothing in her closet.

Things have changed in Indiana since that time but there is still little fairness in the law. Fathers now have so few rights in this state that I'm amazed that more haven't just scooped up their children and disappeared. Child support should be awarded but it should be reasonable enough that the father can still live on what's left each week. Mothers shouldn't be able to hold the kids over dad's head to get what they want. Jail shouldn't be the answer to support delinquency because it only increases the debt. A father who wants to share in parenting decisions should be heard. And it goes on and on.

There are things going on here that have brought these things to mind. I won't go into the details because it's not mine to discuss. But I don't like it.

Annoyances

2007-03-18T11:37:00.000-04:00

As a whole, we have few manners. Or we don't use them. We used to. Our parents taught us to be polite, say please and thank you, and not spit on the sidewalk. What happened? Rudeness is too often the rule and it's become so common that we don't react to it anymore. I'm using generalities here; I use manners because I prefer to do so; it makes the day better. When the cook at work passes food through the window, I say thank you. If I ask for something from him, it's always accompanied by please. It doesn't take much effort to be nice.

I remember when men removed their hats when they entered a building and would never sit down to eat with a hat on. That's something that certainly has passed into obscurity. One of the little things I loved when I worked at the All-ranks Club at Camp Atterbury was reminding those soldiers who forgot that headgear must be removed. It's the polite thing to do. It's was also the rule there. No, don't put it on the bar or table, either. Stuff it in your pocket or hang it on your knee.

More forgotten stuff that shouldn't be:

Holding doors for others
Shaking hands when meeting a person. And getting your lazy ass out of the chair to do so.
Not combing hair at a restaurant table.
Offering help to older people when they're struggling with packages or doors and trying to hold on to their walker at the same time.
Really foul language in front of children.
Offering a smile to a stranger.
Just acting like a caring human being.

I'm done.

Stump-hang him

2007-03-18T11:24:00.000-04:00

I don't often read the newspaper. I have enough going on in my life with looking for more to be concerned about. I do, however, tend to scan the paper if there's one at work. I found this the other day. Actually, the article I read stated that they were looking for the man. In case you haven't clicked on the link, a man stabbed his 11 month old son in the back and tossed him out the car window. What would cause a person to do something so horribly cruel and bizarre? What state would a person's mind be in to allow this? I can't think of a punishment severe enough to fit this situation. My grandmother would opt for stump-hanging... nails his balls to a tree stump, then push him over backwards.

I ate her fudge

2007-03-18T10:32:00.000-04:00

I worked with Kaori at the candy store. Kaori came to the US from Japan, maybe sixteen years or so ago, as an exchange student, got married, and stayed. Even though she's been here for some time, there are still many things American that she's not familiar with. Homemade fudge is one of them. Homemade fudge made with Hershey's cocoa is not anything like the fudge sold in stores, even the high quality stuff. We were eating store fudge one day when I said that I certainly like Mom's fudge better. Kaori asked what was different and I told her that it was not easy to explain and Mom would just have to make some for her. And then we forgot about it. A long time later I came in the back door of the store and saw Kaori in the break room, so I went to say hi and see what she was eating. "Here, you want some?" She held out a plastic container. "You Mom make some fudge." (I love her English!) "Oh, yummy!"said I as I took a piece of fudge, noticing that there weren't many in there. We went out to the front and worked awhile, then Kaori left for the day. A short time later she came back and went to the break room, then almost ran out to the front. "Where my fudge?" Me: "I ate it." "You ate it all?" Me: "There wasn't that much, only a few pieces." "You ate my fudge! You Mom made that for me and you ate it!" Boy, she was really upset. I didn't know it was made specifically for her. Well, I might have eaten it anyway, but maybe not. I apologized and phoned Mom right away and told her she better make some more fudge for the Japanese girl because she was really ticked off at me. Mom came in later that day with two pans of fudge, one for me and one for the Japanese girl.

Kaori and her family have moved to California and I miss her. She has a delightful sense of humor and was a joy to work with. She took a lot of teasing and laughed along with us. She even learned to say "Jelly Belly", no doubt because we were always teasing her about it. I do miss her.

New teeth

2007-03-13T14:37:00.000-04:00

Dental care was not a priority over the years. With no insurance and only so much income, it was a matter of what I needed and what my son needed... insulin and all the other things that go with diabetes. It was never a question. So, I've had four front bottom teeth taken out and over the years have lost back molars, so I now have a partial that is not yet comfortable. It was just yesterday that I got it, so I expect some discomfort for a few days. My tongue isn't used to encountering back teeth so it's a bit sore. I have to work tomorrow afternoon so there's no question of keeping the thing in my mouth. Mom suggested one of those chains like older women use for eye glasses; attach it to the partial and pop it out when it's uncomfortable and back in again. I don't think so, Mom.

It feels like spring

2007-03-09T12:36:00.000-05:00

It's supposed to get about 60 degrees today and we'll be swamped at work. But when I get home I can enjoy the beautiful begonias that I bought today. A flower that likes shade, these should do well inside until it's warm enough to take them out. For you flowers lovers, the red impatience that I brought in last fall is in bloom and it's gorgeous! I was so surprised when I saw the buds forming! I've seen robins so it must be almost spring!

Priorities

2007-03-08T10:05:00.000-05:00

What has happened to doing something, not for dollars, but because it's the right thing to do? Deamonte Driver was a twelve year old boy who died because of a tooth infection.Read the original article here.

What if, when the boy's mom phoned a dentist to ask if he accepts Medicaid, just what if the receptionist said, "No we don't, but we will look at your child and see what we can do pro bono." What if each and every medical provider took care of one family for free? Or two? Or one free patient a day. Something. This is not well thought out, but it could be.

Several years ago my son randomly picked a doctor out of the phone book to see for a check-up for his diabetes. "Are you insured? No? We suggest you find another doctor." Through the yellow page listings until he got tired of hearing the same answer. So he saw no one.

What has happened to the medical profession? Wasn't there a time when doctors wanted to help people or has it always been about dollars? Caring should not have to be legislated!

Deamonte Driver should still be among the living.

Restaurant ettiquette, again

2007-03-07T23:17:00.000-05:00

I don't eat out much. After 30 plus years of waiting tables... which is my profession, not something I'm doing until a better offer comes along... I would rather stay home and eat peanut butter than eat out. But there are folks who eat out every day of their life or at least several times a week. With their children or grandchildren. Who have no manners or any clue to public behavior. Of course, many of the adults are no better, making me wonder what their dining areas at home look like.

These things are the annoyances of any given day:

Straw papers torn into confetti and tossed on the floor.
Jelly packets open by the kids and lapped up with tongues.
Letting kids play with jelly and sweetener packets. Someone is going to use those after your kid has had his grungy fingers all over them.
As much food on the floor as is consumed.
Don't ever take anything off my tray. It's balanced and unbalancing it could land it all in your lap.
People who think they are the only person in the restaurant. Stop whatever it is that you're doing and attend to me.
The busier it is, the more demanding some people will be.
I don't get paid for piece work and making ten trips to one table is really annoying. Tell me everything you need at one time. Bring more butter; thanks and I need hot sauce; thanks, I'll take another tea; thanks, can you bring me a go-box. Thanks and kiss my... whatever.
We close at 8 pm. Coming in at three minutes till and asking if you can still get served is just plain stupid. You can get served, but not well.
If you can't afford to tip, go to McDonald's. I make $2.13 an hour.
If you sit down at a dirty table, you already have one strike against you. I just may be too busy to notice right away that that's not your stuff and ignore you for a bit. If you push the dirty stuff to the side, you have possibly redeemed yourself.
We don't have milk shakes or sundaes. Dairy Queen does.
How can you not know what you want to drink? How much thought does it take?
While I'm getting your drinks is when you should be looking at the menu so you will have some clue when I get back to take your order.
I'm sorry we ran out of the special. You should have gotten here sooner.
There is no excuse for rudeness. If you must be rude, stay home.

So we got through another day, a very busy one. It's never dull.

Sunday

2007-03-04T12:27:00.000-05:00

I have any number of things I need to be doing today. So far I've done nothing more than throw a load of laundry in the washer, not a major undertaking. Instead of doing the chores I've set for myself, I've been browsing blog templates because I really, really don't like this one or any of the other Blogger templates. I can live with it, I guess but boring!

Okay, I've trimmed my hair, gathered the trash, and started cleaning that utensil drawer in the kitchen, the one that makes Mom get that look on her face every time she tries to find something in it.

I really need to get rid of tons of stuff. Everyone seems to want me to have all their old discards, as if I was some sort of pack rat, storing stuff that no one needs. The Amvets truck will be here mid-week and I'm going to have several bags for them. Much of the stuff around here is still leftover from the yard sale two years ago, a lot of it belonging to the neighbors. Well, it's going. If they had really wanted it they would have carried it home. My basement and garage are full of junk.

We all have too much stuff. If we would get rid of one old thing every time we bought one new thing, we could reduce clutter without making a project of it.

Is anyone old enough to remember when stores were closed on Sunday? Nothing was open, except maybe a gas station and a few restaurants. It was a day for church and family. I think it was better time and it mirrors our values of today... shop for more stuff.

Flower seeds

2007-02-28T09:26:00.000-05:00

I'm ready for spring. I've bought a few packs of my favorite flower seeds and can't wait to get started. I'll put the Heavenly Blue morning glories out front where I can see them while I have my morning coffee. I have Peppermint Sticks zinnias that will go in a bed by the side of the porch. I love zinnias. They bloom till frost and I love to cut them and bring them inside. I'll mix Canary Bird yellow with the stripe and I still need to find solid bright red seeds. I may have to order those. I have a few packets of giant mixed cactus zinnias, also, though I'm not as fond of the cactus type. I'm going to try cleome this year. too. Older folks call it spider plant, not the same as the house plant.

I'm going to till a patch at the back of the yard and let the grandkids plant pumpkins. That will be fun for them and it's a patch that I won't have to mow. Mowing is not a favorite of mine when Indiana humidity hits. I whine a lot about the heat and humidity. There is an empty lot next to me that I plan to buy this year, giving me more to mow. I think I'll need a rider this year.

I'm going Friday to look at a used car, a 1997 Chevy Suburban. It's a beautiful vehicle and will hold all the grandkids! The price is excellent and it's been well cared for. One owner. Corporate lease. Low mileage for the year it is. However, the drawback is that it's an absolute gas guzzler, something 13 mpg around town and not a lot better on the highway. I'm still thinking on this.

Time to sit with the babies for a few hours.

79 days

2007-02-27T16:14:00.000-05:00

That's how long it's been since I posted here. No, I haven't been on a round the world trip. I just didn't think I had much to say that anyone actually cared about. I got through the holidays. My son's SO picked out a calendar for me; Maxine. The cartoon for December is perfect: "Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Just don't drag me into it."

Mid-December was the oldest grandson's birthday. Then Christmas and New Year's, which I slept through. January 4th was the youngest grandson's birthday. January 6th was the oldest granddaughter's birthday. Then we get to Valentine's Day, another that I ignore as much as possible, no longer being a day to honor anyone or anything other than Saint Hallmark. The 17th was the second granddaughter's birthday, celebrated the next day with a party at the bowling alley, where everyone caught a flu bug and we're all just getting over it.

In between all these events, I've had several go-arounds with sinus and allergy infections, losing too many days of work and giving huge sums of money to the doctor. I don't just get the sniffles from these things; I get flat out ready to lay down and die sick. But I'm not getting another one, ever. I'm so over being sick and have decided that healthy is so much better.

I have also concluded that something in my car is making me sick. The carpet behind the driver's seat has been wet several times, so I can assume there is mold growing there. The last two times I got sooo sick were times I had been to visit Mom. Now, I doubt that I'm allergic to her or to her cats, since I also have cats. and those trips are the only times I spend 30 minutes at a time in my car. Make sense? So I've covered the carpet with plastic and I'm shopping for another car. And Mom comes here to visit instead of me going there. It also gets her out of the house.

The oldest granddaughter is 15 and is giving her parents fits. She hangs with bizarre friends and is skipping school, intent on doing all the things her mom and dad did way back then. The difference is that times have changed and the world is a less safer place than it was in the 1980's. And her folks were raised in a very small community, as opposed to the town of 40,000 where we all live now. More of everything here. I wouldn't want to be raising kids again and I sympathize with parents who struggle with difficult teens or kids of any age, for that matter.

When I use spell-check, I'm always surprised when nothing is wrong. I have to get to the library.

I gotta tell ya'

2006-12-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

Doesn't that sound just plain gossipy? I do have things to tell you, good things I've come across in the past few days, weeks, months.

Books. I love books. I love the stories that those blessed with an imagination put on paper for me to read. I love non-fiction, information that helps me to learn and grow. I love journals, blank pages waiting to hold my thoughts. I love this sight that has so many great books so cheap! BookCloseouts.com
Audio books. I've been puny and whiny the past week; another sinus infection that had to get worse before it got better. I missed most of the week's work and was too exhausted to even read. Enter audio books. I prop myself up on pillows which allows me to breathe, pop in a CD, and let someone read to me. How very cool is that?
The Lost Choice by Andy Andrews. I listened to this audio book yesterday after working five hours that thoroughly drained me and, once started, I had to hear it to the end. (I made a quick trip to the library after work and stocked up on audio books.) I took it to Mom today so she could listen to it. Overview from BookCloseouts.com :"When a boy finds a mysterious object in the creek near his home, his parents launch an investigation that links the ancient object to such remarkable figures as George Washington Carver and Oskar Schindler." From Amazon.com : "Separate pieces of the artifact shape the lives of those who possess it. With each new discovery come new questions: What is the connection between these objects? Is there is another piece? And, if so, how might this final piece complete the object and its message? Could it, indeed, change the very world with its power and wisdom?" I bought the audio book today from neither of the above booksellers. I found it on ebay at dfwresellers. The Lost Choice is a story of the choices we make and I want to share this story with my son and his children, with my sisters, and with friends. You're my friends, so check it out.
If you haven't heard about The Secret, you've probably been living in a cave these past few months. So go to The Secret and find out about it. I have not seen the movie. I have seen many clips from it and listened to many of the speakers who appeared in the movie. I believe in the possibilities. See clips at YouTube. There are many clips on this page, but especially good are Bob Procter, Bob Doyle, and Quotations from The Secret.
Watch Larry King learn about the Law of Attraction on Universe of Power. Browse the site.
Another good clip at YouTube is Michael Losier. Believe in yourself.
LearnOutLoud.com Here's an excerpt from their About Us page: "Our mission is simple. We want to promote the use of audio and video educational material for personal and professional development. What does this means? It means that we want to help you to see how you can turn 'dead time' (time spent commuting, exercising, doing chores, etc.) into 'learning time.' Most of us have at least a couple of hours each day where we could be learning a foreign language, deepening our spiritual or philosophical interests or learning about any of hundreds of different subjects. We want to help you find material that is both entertaining and educational." Check this out to get your mind going in the can-do direction: 50 Things I'm Going to Do Today. Good stuff and a lot is free.

So, that's what's been going on with me. Besides this miserable sinus stuff. And my mom is having another go-around with diverticulitis, a painful inflammation of the intestines, ouch. She was going to drive herself to the hospital for tests on Wednesday, after having passed out once that morning. No way, Ma. One sister was up north for a few days, the other one had a gazillion things going at the store and Mom threw a fit a when she said she would close the store, so I called work and told them I wouldn't be in. It would have made some sense for my sister to phone and let me know what was going on but... that would be too easy, wouldn't it? Mom's doctor actually thought it was appendicitis because of the amount of pain Mom was having, but tests proved otherwise. She's mending slowly but it takes a few weeks for her to get back on her feet after a bout of this. It's so difficult for her to admit she needs help at times, she will not ask so we have to pry it out of her. I was there today to drive her to the funeral home for the visitation of a family friend. I'll go over on Tuesday to help get a few Christmas decorations up and help with whatever else she may need. Her kids really could do better.

Why do I do this?

2006-12-04T19:54:00.000-05:00

I've changed the template. The old one looked tacky. Not certain I like this better but it's done.